Mission: Make Sasuke Smile!
by Kaira-chan15
Summary: Naruto wonders why Sasuke never smiles, so they make a bet on it. Naruto has to make Sasuke smile by the end of the day. What tactics will Naruto use to get the stoic Uchiha to grin? No pairings!
1. Chapter 1 Sexy no jutsu!

Ok, this is my first attempt at a humor story, so please no flames. :) I got this idea in my head and thought it was quite funny, but that doesn't mean that when I write it out it will still be funny….

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"talking"

_thinking_

Mission: Make Sasuke Smile!

Naruto had thought about many things, but he had never really thought about this. Most of his thoughts had been occupied around Sakura and training, that he had never even considered thinking about this. But now that he had finally thought about it, he needed to know the answer.

"Sasuke, why do you never smile?" Naruto asked curiously.

His normally stoic teammate turned and gave him a surprised look. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because it's not normal! _Everyone _smiles Sasuke, but you don't!" He insisted.

"…I do sometimes. You've seen me."

"No, that's not smiling. That's _smirking._ There's a difference."

Sasuke gave him a weird look. "Whatever." He turned to leave.

"Hey, don't go! You have to answer me!" Naruto shouted at him.

"Why should I?" Sasuke sighed. _The idiot will never stop bothering me. I might as well give him an answer. _"I never smile, because I don't have a reason too."

Naruto nearly fell over. "Whaaat!? That's the stupidest answer that I've ever heard!"

Sasuke shrugged. "You asked for an answer, and I gave you one. I never said that you'd like it." He started to walk away. Then Naruto had an idea. Naruto had a wonderful, awful idea!

"Hey Sasuke, I bet I can make you smile!" Sasuke stopped in mid step.

"Are you challenging me?" He asked quietly.

"You bet! I'll get you to smile by the end of the day! If I can't, then I'll admit that you're better than me by every aspect. And if I win, then my reward is getting to make fun of you for smiling!" Naruto said, satisfied.

Sasuke considered it thoughtfully. _Heh, if it will make the idiot admit that he's a total loser compared to me, then I might as well take it. This could be interesting…_ "Alright, I agree. You won't be able to make me smile though, so it will be fun for me to watch you try and fail."

"Alright! But don't you worry Sasuke; I won't be the one failing." He said confidently.

Sasuke sighed. _Cocky loser. Might as well let him enjoy it for the time being. _"Ok, starting now, you can try any approach to make me smile. I'll be walking around the village. Come find me when you think of something." With that said, he left Naruto alone to think.

As soon as Sasuke was out of sight, Naruto plopped down on a bench and sighed. "After that big speech I gave I don't even have an idea. Wow, I'm getting far."

After a few moments he suddenly snapped his fingers and shot up. "That's it! I'll ask my friends for advice! Haha I'm a genius!" He took off down the street to find someone he knew.

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It hadn't been long until he had run into someone familiar. And this familiar someone just happened to be a certain perverted old man we all know. "Perverted hermit!" Naruto shouted.

"Ouch! Jeez Naruto, calm down!" Jiraiya rubbed his ears, irritated.

"Perverted hermit, I need your help!"

"What do you need help with, kid?"

"Ok, I made this bet with Sasuke…" Naruto explained everything to him while Jiraiya nodded.

"Ah, I see. So now you need to find out ways to make him smile?"

Naruto nodded eagerly. "Yeah, yeah! Do you have any ideas?"

Jiraiya got a sly look on his face. "Well Naruto, lucky for you I do have one. You see, what makes men really happy is women."

"Women?" Naruto questioned innocently.

"Yes, women. Why don't you go perform your Sexy no Jutsu on him?"

_Sasuke doesn't like girls, he shoves Sakura and the others away like they're a disease. But if perverted hermit says so…._ "Alright, I'll try it!"

The moment Naruto was out of earshot, Jiraiya sighed in relief. "Heh, he's actually gonna do it. If Sasuke is anything like Orochimaru, then he doesn't have a care for girls. Naruto is gonna get beat up really bad when he tries this trick. Ah well, it will keep him out of my hands for awhile." He smirked and strolled off to the women's bathhouse to do some more "research".

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Naruto ran through the streets, scanning the crowds for Sasuke. It didn't take him long to find the sulking, spiky-haired boy off to the side. He snuck up behind him. "Sexy no jutsu!"

"Oh, Sasuke!" Said boy turned around to find a very cute, blonde pigtailed, naked girl. Sasuke merely stared at her/him. _Heh heh, he's so enthralled by my cuteness that he's speechless! Perverted hermit was right! _Naruto thought joyfully. He closed his eyes and snickered to himself. _Any minute now, a humongous smile will spread on his face! Any minute now-HEY! He's turning away!_

It was true. Sasuke was already walking away. "You're going to have to do a lot better than that, Naruto. I know that stupid grin anywhere. You can't fool me."

Naruto nearly fell over. "WHAAT!?" He undid the jutsu and frowned. "Hmm…I wonder why it didn't work…AHA! I know why!" He smiled triumphantly. "Maybe it's because I'm not really a girl. I know what to do!" He snickered and ran off to find Sakura.

I hope you liked chapter 1! Please tell me if it was funny or not. Hang on for chapter 2 to see what Naruto has in store for Sasuke next!


	2. Chapter 2 No Guy Can Resist!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"Oi, Sakura-chaaan!!" Guess who.

Sakura turned around with an annoyed look on her face. "What is it now, Naruto?"

He ran up to her, breathless. "I need your help! I need you and the other girls to help me with Sasuke…" He leaned close to her and whispered his plan in her ear. After he finished, she smiled and nodded.

"You're right, even Sasuke-kun can't hate that!"

Naruto nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I mean, no guy can refuse this! So, I'll meet you there when you girls are ready!"

"Ok!" She ran off to go get them and to get ready. When she was gone Naruto giggled evilly.

"Sasuke is in for the surprise of his life!"

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Sasuke took his time getting back to his house. He wanted to see what else Naruto could conjure up. His Sexy no Jutsu was a clever idea, almost any normal guy would smile at that. But unfortunately for Naruto, Sasuke wasn't a normal guy, and wasn't affected by things like that._ Hn, that idiot. He'll need to come up with something cleverer than that to get me to smile. _

He finally reached his house, and was about to slip the key into the lock when he heard a noise inside his house…it sounded like a giggle. Then there was the sound of a fist connecting with a skull, and hushed words. On high alert now, he pulled a kunai out and held it in front of him defensively. He slowly unlocked the door, and slipped quietly into the house. What he saw was definitely the last thing he expected to see.

"Hi there, Sasuke-kuuun!!" Multiple voices chanted. Sitting in his living room, perched on his couch, was Sakura, Ino, Tenten, Temari (he was wondering how the heck she was here), and Hinata (she only agreed because Naruto begged her). They were all in very pretty kimonos, and had their hair and make up done. Sasuke was staring with O.O eyes.

He felt a hand whack him on the back. "So, what do you think, Sasuke? Very nice, huh? I didn't even have to bribe any of them, because they all liked you in some way. Hinata was the only one kind of hard to convince…I wonder why…" Sasuke was at a loss for words. It wasn't that fact that his hormones were finally kicking in and he thought all these girls were very attractive, it was the face that Naruto actually got all of them to do this, and got them in his house. _How did they get in? I have traps all around my house for anyone but me…_

His question was soon answered when something hard fell on his head. Rubbing his head and picking it up, he found out it was part of the ceiling. Looking up, he nearly fell over at what he saw. There was a gaping hole in the roof of his house. _Oh, that's how they got in. Damn, Naruto must be desperate. _

"You dumbass, look what you did to my ceiling! Now I have to go fix it!"

"Oh, no you don't!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing Sasuke to stop him from leaving. "We're not done yet!" He then shoved Sasuke onto the couch, where he let the girls handle the rest. (No, it's not going to be anything gross, get your minds out of the gutter!)

When he landed, the girls swarmed around him. "Would you like a massage, Sasuke-kun?" Ino offered. She didn't wait for an answer, and started rubbing his shoulders.

"Get off of me." Sasuke grumbled, shoving her hands away. Next thing he knew, little cherry tomatoes were being stuffed into his mouth by Sakura and Tenten.

"Very tasty, yes?" They asked him sweetly. Getting irritated now, he spit them all out.

"Leave me alone!" But his words were not listened too, and now Temari was doing something. She was leaning close to him whispering something.

"You're so much cuter than my brothers, maybe I should visit Konoha more often…"

Sasuke twitched. _So she's supposed to be the attractive one…_ He shrugged her off of his shoulder, and expected to be confronted by Hinata next. She did try, but halfway through her sentence, she fainted.

After that, Sasuke calmly got off the couch and approached Naruto, whose jaw was hanging open. "Try harder, you idiot." He said while he walked past him.

"Gahhh! What the hell is his problem?!" Naruto shouted angrily. "I was sure that would work!" He spun around and pointed at the girls. "It's you guy's fault, Sakura-chan, you weren't pretty enough!"

Sakura whacked him over the head. "Shut up, Naruto! It's your fault, not ours!" The five girls stormed off while Naruto rubbed his head.

"Ugh…what would make Sasuke smile? I need to think harder!" After pondering for sometime, Naruto smiled and snapped his fingers. "That's the perfect plan! Now I just need to make sure I have this technique down perfectly…"

That was chapter 2, and I hope I managed to make it kind of funny. Wait for chapter 3 to see what Naruto has in store next:D


	3. Chapter 3 Oh, Brother!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Naruto had practiced the jutsu a million times, and he was sure he had it down now. "All right, time to try it out!" _On second thought, he might not like this at all and might kill me instead…_Naruto thought tentatively. _…Ah well! I won't know unless I try!!! _So he activated the jutsu and took off running to Sasuke's house, receiving weird looks from people. They thought it was quite strange to see the Uchiha clan murderer jogging rather enthusiastically down the streets of Konoha.

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When Sasuke heard someone knocking on the door, he didn't get up to answer it. He thought it was Naruto, and he was still ticked off about the roof incident, which he had just finished patching up (it had taken 3 hours off his time, so he was not that pleased with Naruto at the moment).

……the knocks had been going on for half an hour, and now Sasuke was annoyed. He flung the door open to tell Naruto to go the hell away, but the words fell dead in his mouth at who he saw. Standing in his doorway, with a large, cheerful smile on his face, was none other than the person he hated the most: his very own brother, Uchiha Itachi.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Sasuke asked in anger and surprise. Apparently, he was too lost in his anger to turn his sharingan on and figure out who it really was.

"Itachi" gave him a hurt look. "What are you talking about, dear brother? I came to visit you!" He enveloped Sasuke in an enormous bear hug and squeezed the life out of him, which left Sasuke panting for breath afterwards.

"What (pant) do you (pant) think (pant) you're doing!!!" Sasuke managed to get out.

"Do you not like my hugs?" Itachi asked hurtfully. "Here, let me try again-"

"NO!" Sasuke said, stopping Itachi before he could hug him again.

"Oh, come on!"

"I said no!"

"You know you want one."

"No, I really don't!"

"How can you be so cold to your older brother?" He sniffed. "Where's the love gone!?"

"What the hell do you mean where's the love gone? You destroyed it!" Sasuke twitched.

"Well then let me make it up to you by giving you a brotherly hug-"

"You think you can make up killing the clan with a _hug_?!"

"But hugs make everything better!"

Note that the door is still open through this whole fight, so a large crowd had gathered outside Sasuke's house to watch the fighting "brothers". It was a rather odd sight, actually. To see Itachi trying to wrap his arms around Sasuke in a hug, and to see Sasuke pulling away and threatening him with a kunai, while at the same time both of them are arguing about hugs.

One of the people in the crowd was Sakura. "Don't hug my Sasuke-kun, you freak!" She cried. She lunged herself through the door and whacked "Itachi" on the head.

Echooooooooo……..

"Ouch!!" Itachi cried, rubbing his head. Sakura's eyes widened. "Only one person's head is so empty to echo like that…"

Sasuke also recognized the noise. He turned on his sharingan, and twitched rather violently at what he saw. "Narutooooo….I'm going to kill you…very slowly…and painfully…."

Naruto had undone the jutsu now, and was looking very frightened. "Now Sasuke, don't be rash-"

"Rash!? Oho, just you wait…" Sasuke cracked his knuckles and his killing intent flared. Naruto took that as the queue to run. The crowd parted to let Naruto speed through, with Sasuke right at his heels.

"AHHHH please reconsider Sasuke! I was only trying to get you to smile!!" Naruto yelled while running.

"How the hell would pretending to be the person who made me miserable and coming up and _hugging _me make me smile!?" Sasuke replied, right behind him.

"I don't know just please stop!!"

"No way! When I catch up to you I'm gonna shred you into little pieces, then I'll cut those pieces into smaller pieces, then I'll burn those pieces, then I'll put your ashes in a blender, then burn them again!!!!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

I hope this chapter wasn't too stupid! Thanks for those who have reviewed, and hang around for the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4 The Power of Youth!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Naruto was currently leaning against a wall, panting. Sasuke had chased him for a long time until he finally caught up, and by then, Sasuke had run off his anger and no longer cared. He told Naruto that time was running out, and then he left.

"I need to think of something else, but I'm all out of ideas! Gahhh, just please, give me an idea, any idea!" He yelled to the sky. His prayers seemed to be answered, because within a moment, a shadow covered him and he was squashed to the ground.

"Lee, are you ok?!" Gai asked worriedly, running towards his pupil.

"Hai, Gai-sensei. But I'm afraid that punch sent me into a poor villager." Glancing at the person he was sitting on, he was shocked when he saw it was Naruto. "Ah, Naruto-kun! I'm sorry; I didn't know it was you." He helped him up, and Naruto immediately hugged him.

"Thank you; it's a gift from the god!!" He yelled happily.

"Umm…Naruto-kun…May I ask what you're doing?"

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"Ahh…so that's what it is. You need our help getting Sasuke-kun to smile?" Lee asked. After Naruto nodded, Gai did his signature good-guy pose and smiled wide.

"All right, Lee! Consider this a mission for the two of us!" He said, his teeth glinting. "We're going to bring the youth back into this poor emo child, and help him smile!"

"Gai-sensei, how kind of you!" Lee exclaimed, with tears in his eyes.

"Lee…" Gai also had tears in his eyes.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!" They hugged with a sunset behind them, and a wave crashing down also completed the scenery.

Naruto sweat dropped. "Umm…could you guys please get to it?"

They regained their composures, apologized, and set off searching Konoha to find the Uchiha.

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Sasuke was sitting on a bench alone, minding his own business, when he heard a very loud "SASUKE-KUN!!!" He jumped slightly, thinking it was Sakura, Ino, or worse, Orochimaru! _It doesn't sound like any of them though… _

"Sasuke-kun!" Said boy was yanked out of the bench by his collar, and was face to face with Lee and Gai. He nearly screamed at the sight of their faces, but managed to hold it in.

"Oh, it's you." He grumbled. "What the hell do you want?"

"We were requested by Naruto to make you smile!" Gai boomed. "We must return your cheerfulness!"

Sasuke stared in horror at their eager faces, and moved to get away. But Lee was still holding onto his collar, so he didn't get far before he was yanked back. "Now don't be like that, Sasuke-kun." Lee tsked. "We're trying to help you!"

Sasuke tried to pull free of his grasp. "No, you're trying to help Naruto! Now let go!" When Sasuke had almost broken free, he felt himself being lifted and flung over Gai's shoulder.

"Stop it, I don't like to be man handled! It makes me feel small…" (I'm sorry; I just had to put that! That's from Night at the Museum, from the guy Owen Wilson plays lol!)

"Now don't be so difficult!" Gai scolded. "Come, Lee! Let us enrich him in the ways of youth!"

"Yosh!" Lee cheered, following Gai who was carrying a very irritated Sasuke.

"If you don't let me go, then I'll shove chidori up your-" Sasuke started, before he was slapped on the cheek.

"Sasuke-kun, don't use that kind of language with Gai-sensei!" Lee said angrily. Sasuke merely stared in shock. _Did he just…slap me?…I just lost a whole lot of pride there…_

They talked no more until they got to their destination, except for Sasuke's continual grunts of annoyance and discomfort. They soon stopped, and Sasuke was dumped on the ground.

He got up and dusted himself off. "Why did we come here?" He grumbled. They were just in the forest on the outskirts of Konoha.

"We came here because we didn't think you'd be comfortable undressing in front of people." Lee said cheerfully.

Sasuke shot them a glare. "Wait, what the hell do you mean by that?" He asked worriedly. Gai opened his bag, and pulled out a…dun dun dun!!! Green jumpsuit just like his!

Sasuke's eyes widened in horror, and he gave Gai a 'no way in the seven hells would I wear that' look. Gai frowned at his expression.

"Do you not like it? Or are you just so happy that you can't find the right expression?" Gai asked. "That has to be it! Come on, Lee! Let us not delay his joy any longer!"

"Hai, Gai-sensei!" Lee said cheerfully. He reached over and tried to pull Sasuke's shirt over his head, but he only got it halfway off until Sasuke yanked it back down and tried to punch him. His punch was only stopped by Gai grabbing his fist.

"Now now, Lee was only trying to help-"

"Help?! He tried to pull my shirt off!" Sasuke yelled, quite irritated. His irritation increased when Gai tried to do the same thing. This happened many more times, until Gai and Lee gave up.

"Perverts." Sasuke muttered.

"I guess he'll just have to go without the suit." Gai sighed.

"But the suit makes everyone so happy and youthful!" Lee also sighed.

"Lee, you're trying to hard. That is the true power of youth!!!" Gai exclaimed.

"Gai-sensei…" Lee was all teary eyed.

"Lee…" So was Gai.  
"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!" Once again, the hugging and the sunset, but the wave paused halfway up.

"What's wrong, Lee?" Gai asked.

"Gai-sensei, Sasuke-kun must be so lonely! Let him join in our youthful displays of affection!"

"You're right, Lee! And I enjoy group hugs so much, too!"

They advanced on Sasuke, who was preparing to run for his life. He turned around and was ready to run, until he was face to face with Naruto. He grinned evilly, and shoved Sasuke into the arms of the two green spandex clad freaks.

They both threw their arms around him and hugged as hard as they could. Sasuke felt like he was going to be sick and his face was turning blue from lack of oxygen.

"SASUKE!" From Gai.

"GAI-SENSEI!" From Lee.

"LEE!" From Gai.

"I hate you both…" From Sasuke.'

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I tried to make it as funny as possible! Thank you everyone who reviewed, and hang on for the next chapter! I only have a couple more ideas left, only enough for 2 more chapters, so if you have any ideas the please let me know:D


	5. Chapter 5 Two Perverted Kidnappers

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Naruto was starting to get irritated. Nothing had worked so far, nothing! Not even Lee and Gai! _But then again, they are pretty creepy. They're more likely to scare Sasuke than make him smile…but still! What the hell is that bastard's problem, anyways? Why is it so hard for him to smile?_ Naruto groaned in annoyance. _I need professional help…I know! _

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Naruto had run off to find one of the people he hadn't asked yet, one of the most obvious people too. He entered the bookstore and looked around curiously, until he spotted spiky grey hair sticking out from behind one of the bookshelves (the porn bookshelf, actually).

"Kakashi-sensei!!!!" Kakashi turned around curiously to see who was calling him.

"Shhh Naruto, this is a bookstore." Kakashi replied calmly.

"I know I know, but I need your help! It's really important!" Naruto urged.

"Fine, but lets get out of here first. People are giving you dirty looks." It was true; everyone in the bookstore was glaring at Naruto.

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"Ahh…so that's what it is…" Kakashi muttered while reading his perverted book.

"Yeah, and I thought that you would be able to help make Sasuke smile, seeing as you and him are so alike. You can probably find something you have in common that will make him happy!" Naruto exclaimed ecstatically.

Kakashi looked like he was thinking it over. "…Alright, fine. But only because I want to make fun of him afterward." Kakashi's eyes curved up which signaled that he was smiling. "So, where is he anyways?"

Naruto's smile dropped. "Hehe I don't really know…When he left Lee and Gai, he headed towards the center of town. That's all I really know…"

Kakashi sighed. "Ah well, I'll find him. See ya!" And with that said he poofed away.

Naruto stared at the spot where his sensei once stood. "Alright, I wanna witness this! Although, I don't really know how I'll find Kakashi-sensei since he just poofed away, but that sucks for me!" Naruto took off running towards the middle of Konoha.

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Sasuke was once again minding his own business, walking around the Konoha marketplace. He was still very ticked off at Naruto, Gai, and Lee. He did not take kindly to people who tried to rip his clothes off and replace them with a hideous green jumpsuit, or to people who forced him into a group hug that nearly suffocated him. No, he did not take kindly to that at all.

A loud poofing sound suddenly filled his ears, and then standing behind him was his sensei. "Yo, Sasuke!" He greeted cheerfully.

Sasuke gave him a wary look. "You're not trying to help Naruto too, are you?"

Kakashi chuckled. "I'm afraid I am."

"What are you gonna do then? You're not going to transform as someone, try to attract me, or try to hug me, are you?" Sasuke asked.

This time Kakashi gave him the weird look. "No, I'm not. Naruto just simply wanted me to find something that we both have in common." By the end of that sentence, Sasuke was already walking away.

"We don't have anything in common. I'm not a pervert like you." Kakashi stared blankly after him, and then glanced at his perverted book. _Hmm…Maybe he'll like this…_

"Wait, Sasuke!" He jogged to catch up to his student. "Here, look at this. It always makes me have a good smile!"

Sasuke stared at the book, and then looked back up at his teacher. "I don't feel anything."

Kakashi frowned. "Alright, I don't usually do this, but you seem desperate. Here, touch it!" He handed Sasuke the book, who still, gave no response. (That's kind of like that episode of Spongebob, the laugh box one. Where Spongebob burnt out his laugh box, and Mr. Krabs told him to look at the money, and then to touch the money. I tried to get the lines down right.)

Kakashi sighed. "Ok, I guess the only thing left is for you to read it." Sasuke had only just started to open the book when there was a disapproving grunt from behind them.

"Kakashi, you can't just let little kids read my books. They're rated Mature." They both turned around to see none other than Jiraiya standing behind them.

"Jiraiya-sama!" Kakashi greeted.

"Kakashi." Jiraiya nodded. "So, what poor kid did you try to get to read that?" Glancing over, he noticed Sasuke. "Oh, it's that kid." He grunted.

Sasuke glared at him while Kakashi whispered something in Jiraiya's ear. When he was done, Jiraiya was grinning stupidly. "Alright Kakashi, I don't think it will work but I don't mind doing it."

When Sasuke saw that both Jiraiya and Kakashi were grinning evilly at him, he tried to dash away. But Kakashi and Jiraiya both grabbed one of his arms and started dragging him to who knows where. _Dear Kami-sama, please help me!_

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"A bath house?" Sasuke questioned, confused. "You brought me to a frickin bath house?"

"Not just any bathhouse, Sasuke. It's a _women's_ bathhouse." Kakashi said cheerily from their perch outside the women's bath house. Sasuke's eyes widened and he tried to desperately break free from Kakashi's grasp on his collar.

"Oh come on Sasuke, be a man!" Jiraiya said. "If Naruto can do this, then you can too."

"There's a fine line between being a man and a _pervert_!" Sasuke growled angrily. "I don't think that _peeping_ is being a man!"

"All men peep Sasuke." Kakashi said with a smile.

"Screw you." Sasuke huffed angrily.

Jiraiya gave Sasuke a disapproving look. "So is this how you talk to your sensei? I'm surprised that Kakashi hasn't punished you yet."

"Like he could." Sasuke muttered under his breath, which earned him another disapproving look from Jiraiya. "Why are we here again anyways?"

"Because, Sasuke, peeping makes all guys smile." Kakashi answered, shushing Sasuke when he tried to comment on it. "Okay, Jiraiya, give him the binoculars." Jiraiya, who was currently giggling as he looked through the binoculars, was disappointed to have to give them up.

Jiraiya was having quite a hard time trying to get Sasuke to look through the binoculars. The kid was persistent; he had to give him that. First, Sasuke simply looked away, but that option got knocked out when Kakashi forced his head around to look through the binoculars. Then Sasuke closed his eyes. With his other hand, Kakashi forced Sasuke's eyelids open. Sasuke then put his hands in front of the binoculars to cover the eyeholes up. Jiraiya grabbed both of Sasuke's hands and tightly held them down. Thinking ahead, he also grabbed both of Sasuke's legs with his legs and held them down.

Now, Sasuke chose his last option. "SOMEONE HELP ME! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED BY TWO PERVERTS!!!" He screamed as loud as he could. Jiraiya and Kakashi both started at him dumbfounded. They didn't think that he would actually do that. He must've been desperate. Now of course, Sasuke's yells attracted a lot of attention, especially a lot of angry women on the street who thought that Sasuke was a cute kid and did not like two "perverted kidnappers" trying to steal him.

"Get em, ladies!" One yelled. This was followed by a lot of large, heavy objects being flung at Kakashi and Jiraiya. Because they were ninja, they dodged all of them. That was until the women in the baths discovered them, and they flung stuff at them too. Now, the two men started to get pelted.

By the time the angry women were satisfied, and had helped Sasuke out of the tree, Kakashi and Jiraiya were unconscious and had many bruises. Sasuke decided to quickly make his way out of there, because he knew that a furious Jiraiya and Kakashi looking for him together was not something to take lightly.

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When Jiraiya and Kakashi gained consciousness and met up with Naruto, they told him the story. "Damn, that bastard is persistent." Naruto grumbled. He then snapped his fingers. "I've got the perfect idea! This definitely has to make him smile, because he can't control it!"

Jiraiya and Kakashi looked interested, so he told them to come close and he whispered the plan in their ears. "That's genius." Kakashi whispered.

"Yeah, I'm surprised. Good job, Naruto." Jiraiya complimented. Naruto grinned stupidly.

"So will you two help me?" Naruto asked. When they both nodded, he told them their jobs. "Ok, Perverted Hermit, you need to get the alcohol. And you, Kakashi-sensei, I need you to be the stealthy one and slip it into his drink…."

I'm sorry it took so long to get out, and I hope you enjoyed it! I personally don't think that I made this chapter that funny, so I apologize. The idea for the next chapter was given to me by GintaxAlvissForever, so I want to thank her. I'll try to get it out as soon as I can!


	6. Chapter 6 Drunk Sasuke

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Sasuke was kind of freaked out by now. All of Naruto's attempts to make him smile so far had all been creepy in some way. He was afraid of what Naruto was going to try next. He made sure to stay clear of any of the Rookie 9, in case Naruto got them in on it too.

So now, he was sitting at one of Konoha's many restaurants, waiting impatiently for the waiter to bring him his soda. He thought he saw the waiter rounding the corner, but suddenly he seemed to be jerked backwards. Sasuke thought it was kind of weird, but let it pass and continued to tap his fingers impatiently.

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The reason that the waiter was jerked back suddenly was actually the fault of Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Naruto. Before he rounded the corner they grabbed him and Kakashi knocked him out gently. He caught the soda gracefully before it hit the ground. "Your turn, Jiraiya."

Pulling the lid off the top, Jiraiya poured the scentless, tasteless alcohol into to cup. Then, sealing the lid back on, he handed it to Kakashi. "Your transformation technique is the best, you do it."

Kakashi sighed. "Fine. Transformation no jutsu!" Standing in Kakashi's place was now a perfect model of the waiter. "Hopefully he doesn't think to turn his sharingan on for some reason. If he does, then I'm dead." Turning the corner and approaching Sasuke, he set the drink down in front of him and quickly got out of there. Returning to the other two, he released the jutsu.

"Ahh man, this is gonna be awesome! A drunk Sasuke, hah!" Naruto giggled. "Let's get closer to get a better look!"

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Sasuke stared after the waiter as he left. There was something different about him…but he just couldn't place it at the moment. Ah well, his drink was here, finally. As he took a sip from it, little red flags went up in his head, but he ignored them. After he had taken a generous amount of drinks from it, he began to feel weird and light headed. He also felt the urge to go hug someone. _Because hugs make everyone feel good!_

Sasuke's eyes widened as he realized what he thought. _There must be something wrong with me…Uchiha Sasuke does NOT like hugs!_ "Then what about laughs?" He asked himself. "Everybody likes to laugh. HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" He laughed maniacally. He immediately covered his mouth with his hands. "What the hell is the matter with me?" He muttered.

Nearby, the three who caused his problem were laughed insanely.

Sasuke was currently talking to a nearby waitress. "Hmm…I never realized it before, but why does my hair look like a chicken's butt?" He asked drunkenly, meanwhile taking another gulp from his drink. "I mean look at it! It's just so spiky, and out there! What do all my fan girls see in chicken butt hair?" The waitress's face was red as she tried to hold in her giggles. She couldn't hold it in any longer, so she had to run out of his earshot to let it out.

Saskuke was messing around with his hair, trying to smooth it down out of its chicken butt shape, but then forced his hands to stop. _There is definitely something wrong with me…_ "I think I should go now…" He got up shakily, and tried to steady himself. He didn't go a good job of it, and fell backward into and unfortunate person.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" He muttered drunkenly, craning his head to see the person. He blushed. "Oh, I'm sorry lady." He helped the "lady" up.

"Uchiha, what did you just call me?" The "lady", a.k.a. Neji asked.

"Heh heh…you're really pretty lady…" He said shyly.

Neji twitched violently. Naruto and the other two were erupting in laughter. "Uchiha, I'm going to kill you…" Before he could do anything though, Saskuke had decided to try to flirt with him.

Stepping closer to him (which looked like Sasuke had to drag himself to get anywhere), he yawned and stretched his arm around Neji's shoulders. "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

Neji was practically fuming now. He flung Sasuke's arm off of him. As Sasuke lost his balance and practically fell on him again, Neji noticed some things about him. First of all, he was cross eyed, and he obviously had no balance. He was also flirting; with a GUY that he HATED. So yeah, he knew what was wrong with the Uchiha now.

"I'm sorry Uchiha, well actually I'm not, but still; this is for your own good." Before Sasuke could even look up, Neji gentle-fisted his stomach; HARD. He then caught the unconscious Sasuke and took him to the hospital. Nearby, Naruto, Kakashi, and Jiraiya had stopped laughing hysterically and were now furious.

"It was just getting really good!" Jiraiya grumbled.

"Yeah, why did Neji have to go and ruin it?!" Naruto growled.

"Well, at least it wasn't a total waste." Kakashi said. "That was pretty funny stuff."

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, "but he still didn't smile! Jeez, what do I have to do? Ah well, he's in the hospital now, and I have a rude awakening for him when he's sober again." An evil grin spread across his face. _Oh, just you wait Sasuke…just you wait…._

_Special Thanks to GintaxAlvissForever_

I want to thank GintaxAlvissForever for giving me the idea for this story! I really appreciate it! So if you all thought that Sasuke getting drunk was a good idea, then please let GintaxAlvissForever know. I hope you all enjoyed it, and have a great Memorial Day:D


	7. Chapter 7 Hangover Madness!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

As Neji headed towards the hospital with the unconscious Sasuke slung over his shoulder, someone in the trees chuckled evilly. "Hehe…this is great blackmail!" The person seemed to be a female. "Just you wait, Uchiha Sasuke! This will teach you a lesson to try and flirt with MY Neji! When all of Konoha sees this, your life will be ruined!" The person laughed insanely. Everyone can probably guess who said person is by now, so I won't bother telling at the moment. While the "mysterious" girl continues to carry out her evil plan, let's head over to Sasuke, shall we?

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A few hours after Neji dropped him off, Sasuke woke up. Blinking and looking around, he realized he was in the hospital. Man, was he sick of this place. It didn't take him long before he realized why he was in there though. He didn't feel normal, and being the genius he was, he immediately knew what was wrong-he had a hangover. "Damnit!" He cursed, sitting up quickly. He soon regretted this though, seeing as that sent a wave of pain through his head. Sasuke felt light headed, and he had a pounding headache.

"Damn Naruto…" He mumbled. "This has to be his fault, I know it!" Somewhere not too far from the hospital, Naruto sneezed. Being gentle this time, Sasuke took a careful step off his bed, then another. Feeling confident and forgetting to be gentle, he jerked up into a standing position. This triggered multiple things, none of them pleasant.

First, he realized how weak his body felt and immediately crashed to the floor. Second, his headache grew worse and throbbed painfully. Third, his vision went blurry, and last but not least, his stomach lurched and he vomited all over the floor.

_Beautiful way to start the day,_ he thought in irritation. _Yeah, I definitely know that I have a hangover now. I've showed nearly all the signs. _(Don't ask how he knows what to look for in a hangover…) Remembering what he did to Neji, he threw up again. _That's gonna come back to haunt me in my nightmares, and Neji is probably scarred for life. _

"I just wish I knew who helped Naruto this time, so I can go kick their ass. He couldn't have bought alcohol on his own; he'd have to have someone 21 or older with him…" Thinking back, he remembered the waiter being jerked back and how the waiter seemed odd when he returned…Then it hit him. "KAKASHI! JIRAIYA!" Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs.

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Not too far away, the two men cringed at the murderous intent in that voice. "Well, we're dead now." Kakashi said with a sigh, opening his book.

"I wouldn't be so sure…" Jiraiya mused. Naruto looked up in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we gave him one full bottle of alcohol, so he should have a hangover." Jiraiya answered.

"Ah, I forgot about that." Kakashi said with a smile.

"Wait, what would a hangover do to him?" Naruto asked innocently. Jiraiya sighed.

"A hangover would make him vomit everywhere, he would get major headaches, he would feel light headed, and his body will feel very weak." He explained.

"Ohhh I get it now!" Naruto said cheerfully. "Well, we don't even need to do anything! We can just sit back, relax, and let his hangover work the magic." Naruto lied down on the tree and stretched out to show his point.

"Umm…we can't really do that, Naruto." Kakashi pointed it, lightly kicking Naruto in the side. "He's after us, remember?" Naruto rubbed his side and gave him a stupid look.

"This means we need to move around so that he won't catch us, if we want to see what the effects of the hangover have on him." Jiraiya simplified. A look of realization dawned on Naruto's face.

"Ohhh I get it now!" He exclaimed once again. "Hehehe …I can't wait to see what kind of trouble that teme gets himself into while looking for us." Naruto said, giggling madly.

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Sasuke was currently in some "trouble" as Naruto had put it. He was running from three mobs of people, and in his condition, he was really close to getting caught. The first mob of people appeared before he could take three steps out of the hospital; the nurses and doctors. They were furious that he was trying to leave the hospital without their consent, so they were trying to drag him back.

When he had finally managed to escape them, the next mob came. This mob was actually just a bunch of random shoppers who were ticked off that he was leaving a trail of vomit through the streets. So they were chasing after him carrying cleaning implements like pitch forks and torches, to try to get him to clean it up. Running from them made him nearly fall over, so he was now literally dragging himself away.

He didn't get very far before someone came running his way and tripped over him. With Sasuke's dumb luck, guess who it was? That's right; it was a certain brown haired Hyuuga that Sasuke had tried to…ahem…hit on earlier. Neji rubbed his head, and glared at the object he tripped over. "Sasuke!?" He asked with widened eyes. Those eyes then contorted into a glare. "What the hell are you doing out of the hospital, you pervert!?"

"Pervert?" Sasuke asked. "Naruto and his little helpers put alcohol in my drink! That's why I'm walking around like a person with an illness; I have a freaking hangover! Do you actually think I would hit on a bastard like you by choice?"

"Sure, blame it all on Naruto. But I know the truth, Uchiha!" Neji said dramatically. "You _wanted_ to hit on me! You're secretly gay, and you couldn't stay away from my good looks!" Sasuke's mouth was hanging open.

"Excuse me!? I am NOT gay, and if I was, why would I like someone who looks like a GIRL!"

"Oh no you didn't!"

"I just did!"

"RAWR!" Neji tackled Sasuke to the ground, just as he had managed to get back up again. They scrambled around for a few moments, which made Sasuke's stomach start to feel uneasy again. Before Neji could land a punch to his face however, a number of female voices rang in their ears.

"Stop, Neji-kun! Don't hurt Sasuke-kun!" The girls yelled. Both boys turned their heads in the directions of the voices to see the Neji fan club that he had been running away from a few minutes ago.

"Oh no…" Neji said while slapping his forehead. "I thought I lost them!" His fan girls, after seeing Sasuke, quickly changed into Sasuke fan girls and became the third mob. The two boys were now surrounded by the recently Neji fan girls but now Sasuke fan girls, and the people with the cleaning supplies.

"Don't worry; I can get us out of this." Sasuke muttered to Neji. Slowly stumbling to his feet, he used Neji to help him stand up. "Everyone, move away and let us step through!" Sasuke called to them. "I have a very bad disease, and it's contagious! That's why I was in the hospital. If you come any closer, then you'll all catch it!" To help Sasuke get rid of them, Neji let go of him and let Sasuke crash head first onto the ground.

"See? He can't even hold himself up!" Neji said to them, poking Sasuke with his foot. Sasuke vomited on the ground again.

A few people stepped back with frightened looks, but the rest didn't look like they believed him. "Yeah right! Contagious my butt! Then why isn't _he _sick?" They all pointed to Neji. Not expecting this, Sasuke quickly tried to think of something.

"Yeah he is! He has severe headaches." Sasuke stood up and, making sure that no one could see him do this, he yanked a bunch of strands of Neji's hair out.

"OUCH!" Neji screamed, clutching his head. Sasuke wasn't through yet though.

"And he also throws up!" Using his ninja skills he swiftly punched Neji in the stomach really hard. Luckily, it was quick enough so that the crowd couldn't see it. Neji fell to his knees and coughed up blood. _Ah well, blood will convince them even more._ Sasuke was right, too. The entire crowd backed away and were about to run, if not for the crowd of nurses and doctors approaching behind them.

"They're liars!" One of the nurses screamed. "The kid just has a hangover!" The other two mobs slowly turned around and glared at the two.

"You were bluffing, weren't you?" Neji asked, recovering from the punch.

"Yeah, yeah that was a bluff." (That part was from Ice Age :P) Pulling Neji to his feet, Sasuke shoved him towards a break in the three groups that were surrounding them. "RUN!" Both took off, running the fastest they've ever run in their entire life. The people must've been pretty angry though, because they were right at their heels the whole time.

The two geniuses ended up in the center of Konoha, hoping to get lost in the crowd. They were greeted with the exact opposite of what they expected. Everyone was staring up at multiple humongous TV screens that someone had put up around Konoha, and on the screen was Tenten's head. "Why the hell is Tenten on TV?" Neji whispered.

"Shut up, I wanna hear what she's gonna say."

"People of Konoha, you are all gathered here to see my revenge on Uchiha Sasuke, who tried to steal my Neji away from me!" She laughed insanely.

"Wait, _her_ Neji?"

"Shut up!" Sasuke said again.

"Now I will show you Sasuke's most embarrassing moment! Ladies and gentleman, here it is!" After her head disappeared, a video was put on that showed how Sasuke tried to flirt with Neji earlier. They gaped at it with widened eyes as the people around them started laughing.

"How did Tenten get this?" Sasuke asked no one in particular. _Tenten is next to go after Itachi! _

"Beats me." Neji answered. "But you're gonna get it, Uchiha! You ruined my reputation!"

"_Your_ reputation!? You're the one who got hit on, you're not the one who did the actual flirting and made a fool of yourself!"

"I don't care! People are going to make fun of me anyways! And do you know what I'm going to have to go through with Gai-sensei? He's going to sit me down and have a talk about how it doesn't matter what gender I like, as long as the love of youth burns strongly within me! Do you know how embarrassing that will be!?"

"Why are you yelling at me? I'm not the one who videotaped this and showed it to everyone! Get revenge on Tenten, she's on your team anyways!"

"You're right…" Neji mumbled when he had calmed down. "I'm gonna go find her, and when I do, she won't know what hit her…" Neji then took off to search for Tenten, and left Sasuke all alone in the crowd of laughing people.

"Wait Neji, I didn't mean right now! Get back here you bastard! Don't leave me alone with them!" Sasuke screamed, being surrounded by the people laughing their heads off and making fun of him. Among those people were Naruto, Kakashi, and Jiraiya.

"Haha, it's even funnier the second time!" Jiraiya said between laughs.

"Yeah, and when Sasuke becomes sober again, my next plan shall ensue!" Naruto chuckled evilly.

"It might work, but it is kind of cruel." Kakashi put in.

"This coming from the guy who put Sakura in a genjutsu of Sasuke all bloody and impaled with kunais and shurikens!" Naruto threw back.

"Good point. Well then we'll watch from the sidelines and come in to help if you mess up and Sasuke tries to kill you."

"All right, let's go! There's only a few more hours left until 12:00 pm, and I need to finish before then. To your stations people!" Jiraiya and Kakashi poofed away, leaving Naruto there.

"I've always wondered how they do that…" Naruto mumbled.

_Special Thanks to LostForever06, and Tigerrelly._

Crappy ending I know, but I hope you all enjoyed it! I wanted to thank LostForever06 for the idea of Sasuke having a hangover, and Tigerrelly for the idea of someone catching that little incident on tape. Please give them a comment if you liked those two ideas. I tried to make this one longer, to make up for the short one last time. It's summer now, so I can get chapters out sooner. Woot woot!


	8. Chapter 8 Another Survivor!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Sasuke, after escaping all the giggling people, had finally sobered down. His mind still wasn't exactly in the right place, but it wasn't as bad as before. He was currently sitting on the roof of his house in the Uchiha district (hey, it was the only place where they wouldn't follow him) when he saw a shadowy figure in the distance.

It was making its way slowly over towards his direction, but it didn't seem to notice him yet. When it was close enough to make out some features, Sasuke decided it was a man. The man finally looked up at him, and his face lit up. He had black hair, and obsidian eyes. And his complexion seemed almost perfect…

The guy jumped up and landed next to Sasuke, with a bright smile on his face. "Sasuke!" The guy exclaimed, tackling Sasuke in a hug. _What the hell is with people and hugging me today!? I mean, is everyone in this village obsessed with hugs or what? _Sasuke shoved the guy away and sprang to his feet, already in a battle stance. "Who the hell are you?" He demanded. The guy blinked.

"You don't remember me?" He sounded hurt.

"No. I've never met you in my life."

"How sad, here I've been searching everywhere to find you and you can't even remember your own _family member._" He said, turning to show Sasuke the Uchiha symbol on the back of his shirt. This struck something in Sasuke. He shot the person a cold glare.

"Don't mess with me! Who the hell are you anyways, pretending to be my family?!" Sasuke said, a little louder than he intended to be. "My entire clan was killed, and everyone knows it!"

"Ahh, if that's so then why are you still alive?" The person asked slyly.

"Because Itachi spared me."

"If he spared you, then is it entirely impossible that he could've spared someone else? Or is it impossible that someone could've left on a mission before it happened?" Sasuke remained silent. "Ever since that fateful time, I've been searching everywhere to find you! And now I finally have, and we can be together again!" The man exclaimed dramatically, reaching over and dragging Sasuke into a forceful hug.

Surprisingly, Sasuke didn't try to shove the man off like he usually would. Actually, he didn't seem to mind too much. _I won't be alone anymore…there's actually another Uchiha besides Itachi... _The corners of Sasuke's mouth twitched. "What's your name anyways?" Sasuke mumbled. The man froze. Damn it, he was almost there! That smile was almost there! Why did Sasuke have to ask that question now!?

"Ummm…my name, right. My name is…umm…Howard. Howard Figgey Uchiha."

Nearby, two men sighed and slapped their hands to their foreheads.

"Howard, huh?" Anyone could tell how violently Sasuke was twitching. _There's only one person stupid enough to think up an AMERICAN name when we're in JAPAN…_ "So, Howard-_san_, do you want to go get some ramen now that we're together again?"

"Howard" noticed the honorific at the end of his "name", and knew that it did not bode well. The day Sasuke used honorifics on people was the day that hell would freeze over. It was also hard not to notice the tone Sasuke used when he mentioned ramen. Sasuke was suspicious, and was trying to get a reaction out of him. "Howard" would be damned if he let Sasuke expose him.

"Sure, don't mind if I do!" Sasuke detached Howard's arms from him and made his way towards the ramen stand, with Howard following miserably behind him.

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Sitting at the ramen stand, they both ordered their food. Sasuke watched what Howard ordered intently, and looked disappointed when he didn't order what he expected. But Sasuke still stared at him the whole time they were eating, and when Howard finished, he immediately questioned him. "Are you still hungry? Want another bowl?"

Howard stared at his empty bowl nervously. _Can't eat too much, or he might find out…but I'm still really hungry!_ After a few moments of arguing with himself, his hunger won. "Another bowl please!" He cheered, holding his bowl up. _Besides, just one more bowl won't hurt, right? _Oh, how wrong he was. One more bowl made him want more, and more, and more. By the time Howard was on his 7th bowl, Sasuke had confirmed his suspicions.

Howard's first clue should've been Sasuke's murderous intention growing stronger and stronger by the minute. It was also hard to miss the ramen man and his daughter quickly ducking for cover. The fact that Sasuke's hands were also twitching towards Howard's neck should've been another hint. But Howard remained completely oblivious and continued to slurp his ramen happily.

"Nar..u..to…" Sasuke growled, hands itching to strangle the imposter sitting before him. Naruto looked up in confusion.

"No Sasuke, I'm Howard, remember?" He said, smiling cheerfully.

"Oh really? Then go look in a mirror you bastard!"

"Huh?" Glancing over at the mirror that was conveniently on the wall of Ichiraku(sp?), he noticed that instead of the black hair and black eyes he had earlier, he was sporting his usual blonde, pack-of-French-fry-like hair and sky blue eyes. He must've accidentally released the jutsu when he was eating! His eyes widened in fear, and he slowly turned around to face the now fuming Sasuke. "Sasuke…be gentle…"

"You come to me yet again pretending to be my family, preaching your story and pretending to be a survivor, you hug me twice, and you're telling me to be _gentle_!?" Sasuke cracked his knuckles. "I'm gonna cut you open and rip your organs out one by one, and show you the true meaning of torture!"

Naruto let out a high pitched squeak and scrambled off of his seat to try to take off. He was yanked back by Sasuke grasping onto his collar. "Answer me this, Naruto, and I may let you live a little longer." Naruto gulped and nodded, trying to avoid Sasuke's evil glare. "Have you been purposely trying to tick me off today?"

"Well…" Naruto fidgeted nervously. "I don't really know what you like, so I just guessed on what would make you smile."

"Why did you think that _any_ of the things you've done to me today would make me smile? All you've managed to do so far is piss me off, big time."

"Well I don't know; you're so weird so maybe something that pissed someone else off would make you smile!"

"Wrong answer!"

"GAHHHHHH!!!"

Meanwhile, Kakashi and Jiraiya were watching from afar.

"Think we should help Naruto out now? That was our job after all." Jiraiya asked Kakashi.

"Yeah, I guess." Kakashi sighed and shut his book. Jumping down to the two scrambling ninjas, Kakashi plucked Sasuke out by his collar and held him there dangling. Meanwhile, Jiraiya gathered up the badly beaten up Naruto.

"Let me at him! Damnit Kakashi, let me go so I can beat the hell out of him!"

"AHHH! Help me perverted hermit!" Naruto screamed, hiding behind Jiraiya.

"Kakashi let me go or I'll chidori your ass to next Tuesday!" Sasuke yelled, still twisting and squirming to get out of Kakashi's grip.

"Don't forget that I'm the one who taught you chidori! Now if you don't shut up and stay still then I won't teach you any more techniques for a year and I'll put you under house arrest at my house." Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"You wouldn't."

"Wanna try me?" Sasuke immediately shut up and stopped struggling. "Now Jiraiya, you take Naruto away and try to calm him down. I think Sasuke kind of terrified him…."

"Kind of?!" Jiraiya exclaimed, pointing at Naruto. "The kid's shaking like a wet dog!"

"Whatever just calm him down." Kakashi sighed as Jiraiya took Naruto away. "You really managed to give him a quite a scare, Sasuke."

"And you think he didn't deserve it!? He pretended to be my family!! Twice!" Sasuke screamed, foaming at the mouth now. Kakashi observed him thoughtfully.

"Hmm…maybe Naruto pissing you off too many times in one day can have a bad side effect." Kakashi pondered for a few moments, then decided the best thing to do. "Sorry about this, Sasuke."

"What are you-"

WHACK!

"Now, just take a little nap and hopefully your anger will die down. But don't sleep for too long, because Naruto still needs to get you to smile before the day is over." Kakashi smiled and patted his unconscious student on the head. "But wait…what do I do with him now?" Looking around, he spotted a boy wearing a gray jacket with a dog in it.

"Yo Kiba!" Said boy turned around to greet the silver haired jounin.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei-" Something was thrust into his arms, cutting him off. "H-hey…what's this?" He asked, tilting the pile in his arms. He recognized the navy blue shirt and the white shorts, and the pale skin and the dark hair.

"I need you to just hang on to him for awhile, until he regains consciousness. C-ya!" Without another word Kakashi poofed away before Kiba could protest, leaving him there to awkwardly hold Sasuke.

"That damn Kakashi! Who the hell does he think he is, just tossing me Sasuke and running off!" While Kiba ranted, Akamaru climbed out of his hood and sniffed Sasuke. Deciding he liked the smell, he started licking him. "Akamaru, stop it." Kiba said distractedly, moving Akamaru's head away from Sasuke's cheek.

He didn't notice his two team members running towards him. "Kiba-kun!" Hinata shouted, well, as loud as Hinata really can shout, because it's Hinata we're talking about here. Jolted back to reality, he turned towards them.

"Oh, hey guys." A thought suddenly flashed through his head, and he grinned. "Here ya go Shino." He said happily, dumping Sasuke in his arms.

"Kiba, may I ask why you're giving me an unconscious Sasuke?" Shino asked. But by then, Kiba had already took off and left Hinata and Shino with the poor boy. Hinata glanced down at Sasuke in worry.

"What do you think we should do with him, Shino-kun?" She asked worriedly. Noticing Shino was no longer by her side, she spun around to see him opening the lid to a nearby trash can. "S-Shino-kun, what do you think you're doing!" She exclaimed, rushing over and snatching Sasuke away before he could drop him in.

"Well, he's your problem now." Shino said simply, walking away.

"W-wait! What do I do with Sasuke-kun!?" Hinata sighed and looked down hopelessly at the boy she was trying to hold up. Luckily for her, Ino's team happened to be passing by and spot her.

"Oh my darling Sasuke-kun, what happened to you!?" Ino exclaimed, ripping Sasuke from Hinata's arms and crushing him in a hug. "We'll take him off your hands, Hinata-chan!" Hinata looked unsure whether it would be wise to condemn Sasuke to Ino, but heck, if it took him off her hands then she was fine with it. She bowed and quickly took her leave.

"How troublesome…Can't we just drop him in a trash can or something?" Shikamaru asked, using Shino's idea from earlier. This earned him a whack on the head from Ino.

"Shikamaru's right, Ino." Chouji complained, munching on some chips. "What are we gonna do with him? We can't drag him around all day."

"When did I say I needed you guys around anyways? I plan to spend the day with my Sasuke-kun _alone_ at the park!" Ino smiled cheerfully, skipping away towards the park with Sasuke slung over her shoulder.

"Hey, Shikamaru, what should we do?" Chouji asked his genius friend.

"Well, I don't really like Sasuke, but even he doesn't deserve to be alone with Ino while he's unconscious…Who knows what she'll do to them?" The two boys shuddered and stealthily followed Ino to the park.

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There wasn't much Ino could really do with an unconscious Sasuke. She couldn't talk to him, or flirt with him, or anything else! _Well…there is one thing I can do…_ Ino smirked evilly. She never got to kiss him in real life, so now was her big chance! Rolling over onto Sasuke, whom she had laid on the grass, she puckered her lips and slowly went to kiss him.

Shikamaru and Chouji, who had just gotten up the hill to the park, saw this and decided to act. "NOOOOO!!" Running in slow motion, Shikamaru tackled Ino off of poor Sasuke, while Chouji scooped Sasuke off and rook off in a random direction.

"What the hell do you two think you're doing?! Why is Chouji taking off with my Sasuke-kun?" Ino growled, glaring at Chouji's retreating back. "And will you get the hell off of me!" She screamed, shoving Shikamaru off of her. _Hurry up, Chouji…_ Shikamaru though, still getting pushed off by Ino.

Meanwhile, Chouji had eventually hit the sidewalk and was trying to find someone to dump Sasuke on. Luckily for him, someone came to him. "Chouji-kun, what do you have there?" Lee asked cheerfully. Seeing that the thing Chouji was carrying was an unconscious Sasuke, Lee freaked out.

"Oh my! What happened to Sasuke-kun!?" Not waiting for an answer, Lee took Sasuke from Chouji. "I'll take him from here, Chouji-kun! I'll take him to Gai-sensei; he'll know what to do!" Sasuke's body shuddered; even in unconsciousness, he knew something was going to go terribly wrong.

Kakashi and Jiraiya watched from a distance as Lee jogged off to find Gai, carrying Sasuke bridal style. "Jeez Kakashi, look what you did! Now we have to go get him back if we want Naruto's next plan to work!" Kakashi, who was reading his book, sighed.

"For the last time, how could I have known that just by handing Sasuke off to Kiba would start a chain reaction?" Kakashi mumbled, turning a page. "But fine, we'll go after him when Naruto wakes up…if he wakes up…" He added, prodding the unconscious Naruto with his foot. "When I said calm him down, I never meant knock him unconscious…and did you really have to hit him that hard?"

_Special Thanks to Otaku Ichigo_

Sorry about the crappy ending, and if the chapter wasn't that good. I have to thank Otaku Ichigo for the idea of Naruto changing into an Uchiha and saying he's a survivor too. So if you liked that idea, then please let her know! I'll try to update soon, and I hope you all enjoyed it!


	9. Chapter 9 Mind Control and a Kiss

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

FYI: This chapter is NOT Sasu/Naru! You'll find out what I mean later on in the chapter…

"Gai-sensei!" Lee cried, running full speed towards his sensei.

"Lee, what is it?" Gai turned around, and nearly screamed at what he saw. "Lee, you killed Sasuke!"

Lee looked confused. "No, Gai-sensei, I found Sasuke-kun like this. I think he's just unconscious."

"Oh, phew." Gai calmed down. "Unconscious you say? Who would do such a terrible deed to a poor, defenseless child?!"

"Hey…who are you calling defenseless?" A voice growled. Glancing down, Gai noticed that Sasuke had happened to regain consciousness at that moment.

"Sasuke!" Gai exclaimed, enveloping Sasuke in a bone-crushing hug. "You're awake!"

"Gai-sensei, look what you did!" Lee cried, wrenching Sasuke from Gai's grip. The boy had once again fallen unconscious.

"Well look at that, maybe my hug was too powerful for him…"

Somewhere in the trees…. "Heh, yeah right Gai. I think you just invaded his personal bubble too much for his liking…"

Back to Lee and Gai. "Sensei, what do we do?" Lee asked, lying Sasuke down.

"Well Lee, drastic times call for drastic measures…I think we have to give him CPR."

"…But Gai-sensei, he's still breathing…"

"…I know, but it's worth a shot, isn't it? Do you have any better ideas?" Lee shook his head. "Okay then, do you want to do it or do you want me to?"

"You're the jounin, you can do it."

"Very well then, pinch his nose and tilt his head back." Lee did as he was told, and Gai descended his lips towards the Uchiha's….

Somewhere in the trees again… "Shit, we got to go down there and help Sasuke!"

"Why should we? It would probably be good for him anyways for his pride to be hurt," Jiraiya said lazily. "His enormous ego needs to be deflated someday."

"But if we don't get down there then he'll be scarred for life!" Kakashi argued. "Well not that he hasn't been scarred multiple times today already, but this is where I draw the line!" He said, hopping down to save his favorite student.

Once again, back to Gai and Lee. Gai looked up in surprise when his lips hit solid ground. "Huh? Where'd Sasuke-kun go?"

"Sorry, Gai, but I need to take Sasuke somewhere." Gai looked up to see Kakashi holding Sasuke by the back of his collar.

"Kakashi, my eternal rival!" Gai gasped, jumping to his feet. "What do you think you're doing?! I was trying to help your student!"

"Well, I felt I should spare him from your little "kiss of life"." (I got that from the Emperor's New Groove:P) "Besides, he's my responsibility. It's my fault he's like this anyways…"

"Then it was _you_ who knocked poor Sasuke-kun unconscious!" Lee cried out accusingly.

"Unbelievable! How could you do that to your own student?" Gai pointed angrily at Kakashi. "I would never do that to my student!"

"Is that true, Gai-sensei? Do you really care for me that much?" Lee asked, eyes watering up.

"Yes, I do Lee!" Gai's eyes also watered up.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!" A fake sunset and a wave of water appeared behind them.

"Well, that was fairly easy. I always wondered how they do that though…," Kakashi muttered, eyeing the scene before him. He got a better grip on Sasuke's collar then leaped up into the trees.

"Oh, hey," Jiraiya muttered.

"Yo! Hey…where's Naruto?" Kakashi asked, scanning the area.

"He left a few minutes ago, said he had to go get someone for his plan," Jiraiya replied.

Kakashi sighed. "I better go follow him. Watch Sasuke." He dumped the Uchiha into Jiraiya's arms before taking off.

"Hey, don't leave him with me!" Jiraiya called after him, but knew it was useless. Even if Kakashi could hear him, he wouldn't come back. Glancing at the blue bundle in his arms, he lifted him up and gently set him on the branch, backing away slowly as if he was some kind of disease. "You're too much like Orochimaru for your own good, kid. Now just stay unconscious until Naruto or Kakashi gets back." Jiraiya giggled and took off, most likely to go peeping.

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"What do you want me for, Naruto?" Ino asked, irritated at the blonde boy. He had burst into her flower shop, and dragged her out of it without saying a word. They were now jumping through the trees to who knows where.

"I need you to help me make that human ice block smile!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly; his plan _had_ to work this time!

"You mean Sasuke?" Ino asked. Images of a grinning Sasuke floated through her head. _Ahh so hot! _"Of course I'll help! Do you want me to charm him with my beauty?" She asked, running a hand through her hair and smiling in a charming way.

"No, that won't work. I need you to take over his mind and forcefully make him smile."

"Oh." Ino looked disappointed. _Come on, it'll still be so cute to see Sasuke smile! _"Fine, I'll help anyways."

"Oh yeah! Thanks, Ino!" Naruto exclaimed happily. A few moments later they arrived at their destination and the first thing Ino did was pounce on the still unconscious Sasuke.

"Oh Sasuke-kun, we're finally reunited!" Ino said happily, holding onto Sasuke with a death grip. "Don't worry; I beat up Chouji and Shikamaru for separating us!"

Naruto gave her a weird look. "What are you talking about? Never mind, I don't think I even want to know," Naruto said, shaking his head. "Just wake him up so we can get on with it."

This was easier said than done. No matter how long they waited or how much they shook him, the Uchiha refused to snap out of unconsciousness. Naruto was furious, but Ino was quite content, seeing as she was able to have Sasuke's head resting on her lap the whole time.

Of course, Sasuke had the unfortunate ness to gain consciousness at this moment and flew out of Ino's lap. "What the hell is going on here? Where am I? Why was my head on Ino's lap? And get your ass over here Naruto so I can kill you!"

"I think I liked it better when he was unconscious..." Naruto mumbled, stomping over to Sasuke. Before Sasuke could take a swipe at him Naruto hopped behind him and grabbed his arms.

"What the hell are you doing? Let go of me, dobe!" Sasuke growled, trying to yank his arms free.

"Ino, you know what to do!"

"Mind and Body Transfer no jutsu!" (Sorry if that's wrong, I don't know what it's called.) Ino's body went limp and she fell to the ground, and Sasuke's body also went limp in Naruto's arms. Sasuke's head lifted a moment later, and Naruto tried to decide who it was.

"Kyahh I'm in Sasuke's body!" Ino squealed with delight, hopping up and down. Naruto had to hold in his laughter seeing Ino in Sasuke's body acting very un-Sasuke like.

"Ok, just get Sasuke to smile before he manages to break through your jutsu or something like Sakura did," Naruto said, not realizing that he jinxed them.

"Fine, fine, you don't need to be so pushy," Ino mumbled. She tried to smile the biggest smile she was capable of, but the corners of her mouth only twitched into a small smirk before she felt an inner force stopping her.

"Come on Ino, get on with it," Naruto grumbled.

"I'm trying!" Ino huffed. _Why can't I smile? What's stopping me?_ Delving deep inside Sasuke, she found that it was the exact same way with Sakura; Sasuke had an Inner Sasuke. _Get the hell out of my body Ino or I'll kick your ass, and never talk to you again to boot! _Inner Sasuke growled.

Ino seemed to take the hint. "Release!" Ino in her body slowly stood up a moment later, and Sasuke in his body towered over her menacingly.

"Naruto…Ino…" His voice was laced with venom.

"Uh oh, we better get out of here Ino…" Naruto pulled the girl to her feet and dragged her away from Sasuke's murderous chakra.

"I'm gonna kill you!!!" Sasuke screamed, running after the two.

"Ahhh! Run Ino, run like your life depends on it, because it does!" Naruto screamed, quickening his pace.

"Get back here!" Sasuke tried to speed up his pace as well but was picked up by his collar for the third time that day by the same person.

"Yo!" Kakashi greeted, spinning the dangling Sasuke around to face him.

"Kakashi don't get in my way this time or I'll add you to my death list!" Sasuke threatened.

Kakashi sighed. "Again with the death threats?" He made a move to knock Sasuke out, but decided better of it. _I don't think it's very good for your brain to fall unconscious multiple times in one day…_ "You're lucky Sasuke. I found something else to do to you." Still holding Sasuke by the collar he put his other hand on the boy's head and began to spin him.

"What-the-heck-are-you-doing!" Sasuke yelled each word as his face passed by Kakashi's direction each time.

"Hey, would you rather be unconscious?" Kakashi warned. After a few more spins he set Sasuke down and watched as the boy tried to regain his balance, but fell to the ground miserably. "This should buy Naruto some time…Sorry Sasuke, but it's for your own good. Well actually it's for Naruto's own good, but whatever. See ya!"

Kakashi poofed away, or at least that's what Sasuke thought he saw through his dizzy vision. "Stupid Kakashi…" Sasuke mumbled, trying to stand on his feet. He took a few wobbly steps then tripped over a stone. "I'm still gonna kill Naruto, and he can't stop me!" Rising to his feet once again, he turned around and smacked right into the wall. "On second thought, it may be a little while…"

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When Ino and Naruto finally stopped running they were well out of breath. Ino regained her composure first and slapped Naruto, muttered a few angry words under her breath, and stormed off. "What did I do to deserve that?" Naruto mumbled to himself, rubbing his red cheek. "That's it, no more help this time. It's about time I tried something on my own, and I know just what to do!"

Once he regained his breath he took off in search of Sasuke, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do seeing as the Uchiha was still probably seething with anger. But this is Naruto we're talking about, and he obviously overlooked that fact as he jumped around trying to find his friend.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called, jumping from roof to roof. "Sasuke-teme, where the heck are you?" He dropped to the ground and starting shoving his way through the crowds of people. "Wait, what the hell am I doing? Sasuke wouldn't be in crowds of people, he'd be in the least populated part of town. Duh!" Naruto scolded himself, smacking his forehead.

Running to the outskirts of the city where Sasuke and other ninjas often trained, he indeed found Sasuke there, thought not looking how he expected…

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Sasuke hadn't made much progress since Kakashi left him, and he was still smacking into walls and tripping over random objects, some which weren't even big. He swore he tripped over a small beetle one of the times...How fast _did_ Kakashi spin him?

Anyways, seeing Naruto entering the training grounds made Sasuke's killing intent rise to a drastic level. So, doing what he usually does when he's this ticked off, he charged blindly at Naruto and took a swing at him.

He didn't get very far seeing as he was about a mile off course. He ran into a pole that was conveniently placed there and he was flipped onto his back on the ground. Groaning, he sat up and rubbed his head.

Naruto had trouble containing his laughter. The sight was just too hilarious! _The_ Uchiha Sasuke was whacking into walls and tripping over his own two feet. It was just too hysterical. _Although, I could use his newfound terrible sense of balance to launch my plan…_

Sneaking up on Sasuke from behind, Naruto whirled him around and made the Uchiha face him. _I'm gonna hate myself for this afterwards, but luckily I brought mouth wash… _Naruto took a deep breath and without a second thought kissed Sasuke right on the lips.

Sasuke, to say the least, was shocked. Then he was furious. What the hell did Naruto think he was doing?

A few seconds later Naruto jumped away from Sasuke and dug through his pockets for mouth wash. Ripping the cap off, Naruto poured the entire thing into his mouth and gargled for a full minute. _That's it; I am NEVER doing that again! Now I have Sasuke germs, eww!_

Naruto turned around to look at Sasuke and was disappointed when he saw no reaction on his face. "What, so you're not gay? Man, I just kissed you for nothing, yuck!"

Sasuke exploded. "What the hell do you mean am I gay?! Of course I'm not, why would you even think that?!" (No, I personally do not think that Sasuke is gay, for your information.)

"Well the girls didn't work on you, so I thought that maybe you were gay! Apparently not though, and now I have your germs and still no smile out of you!" Naruto gagged, scooping another bottle of mouth wash out of his pocket.

"Naruto, you've gone too far this time. This is the _second_ time you've kissed me-"

"Hey, the first was on accident!" Naruto pointed out, spitting out some mouth wash. Sasuke ignored him.

"-and I really am going to kill you now. Before I was just gonna beat the crap out of you, but you pushed your luck." Sasuke said, surprisingly calm.

Naruto watched him suspiciously. _Why is he so calm right now? He would normally be screaming his head off…Something's up…_ Sasuke walked calmly over to Naruto, a kunai in his hand, and Naruto moved back a little bit.

"Sasuke…what are you doing?"

"Now, if you stay still then I'll make it quick and painless, and no one will hear you scream."

Naruto's eyes widened. _Holy crap, he's serious this time! _"Hey Sasuke, think fast!" Naruto chucked the half empty (or half full, however you want to view it) bottle of mouth wash at Sasuke's head, then scrambled to his feet and bolted.

Sasuke caught the bottle with ease. He smirked at Naruto's retreating back. "Heh, the idiot. My plan worked; scare Naruto away and make him drop the mouth wash. I didn't plan to kill him until _after_ I cleaned my mouth out; I don't want Naruto germs." He emptied the rest of the contents of the bottle and gurgled thoroughly.

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Luckily, Naruto had run into Kakashi and Jiraiya shortly after running away from Sasuke. "Kaka-sensei, Sasuke's seriously gonna kill me this time! Hide me!" Naruto cried, cowering behind his sensei.

"I don't see him anywhere," Kakashi remarked lazily, eyes glued to his book. Naruto looked up in surprise, realizing that his friend wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Besides, we _want_ to find him anyways. We've got a plan," Jiraiya explained with a grin.

"Really? What is it, what is it?" Naruto asked excitedly. Jiraiya bent over and whispered it into the boy's ear. Naruto's lips spread in a wide grin.

"Haha, that's genius! Nobody can hate that! C'mon, let's go tell him!" Naruto bounded back over to Sasuke, all his previous fear forgotten. Kakashi and Jiraiya exchanged looks and then followed after the hyperactive boy.

Luckily, Sasuke was still gargling the mouth wash and had not left the area. Also luckily, he was kind of afraid of Kakashi because of the spinning incident, and held back on killing Naruto.

"What do you guys want?" Sasuke mumbled, shooting death glares at Kakashi.

"I feel kind of bad for kissing you and calling you gay, and I feel bad for myself that I had to kiss you. So I wanted to make it up to you," Naruto explained. Sasuke raised an eyebrow as if to say go on. "So, I decided to invite you…to the hot springs with us!"

_Special Thanks to Naruto12123, Shounen-Ai, and Xanaphia-Nailo_

I personally didn't think this chapter was as good as the other ones, but I hope you enjoyed it! I wanted to thank Naruto12123 for the idea of Ino taking over Sasuke's mind and forcing him to smile, and I wanted to thank Shounen-Ai and Xanaphia-Nailo because they both had the idea for Naruto to kiss Sasuke to make him smile. And once again, that was not meant to be a pairing! So if you liked their ideas, then please let them know!


	10. Chapter 10 Hot Spring Chaos and Tickles

Hey in case you people are wondering when this is ever gonna end and when he's ever going to smile, it's soon. Only a few more chapters left. So if you people want me to put any more attempts of yours in before the story is over, let me know soon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Naruto, Jiraiya, and Kakashi finished undressing and headed out to the hot springs. Sasuke hadn't been comfortable undressing in front of them, so he had gone to the next room to change. A few minutes after they came out Sasuke appeared from the next room, looking extremely uncomfortable.

Kakashi and Sasuke had the decency to wear a towel, while Jiraiya and Naruto went in butt naked. Naruto cannon balled into the water, sending a wave of water crashing onto the three. They climbed in, all slightly annoyed, and Sasuke made sure to shove Naruto's head under the water.

Sasuke was on his toes the whole time, his glance darting from each of their faces. They were planning something, he knew it! They wouldn't invite him to a hot springs for just nothing. Jiraiya disliked him, and both Kakashi and Naruto knew that Sasuke wanted to kill them right now, so going somewhere with him wasn't the best thing to do.

_What could they be planning, inviting me to a hot spring? I have a bad feeling that something is going to scar me for life here…_ (Oh if only you knew Sasuke, if only you knew) Sasuke shivered involuntarily. He didn't miss the grin that the other three shot each other, and that just made him all the more curious about what was going to happen.

Fortunately, he didn't have to wait too long. He heard two very familiar voices echoing from the changing room, and his eyes widened in horror. "You…you didn't, did you?" Sasuke asked, terrified. Their grins only widened. "Are you trying to torture? How would this make me smile?!" Sasuke practically screamed.

"Oh, we decided to take a small break from making you smile. We just wanted to see if we could freak you out," Naruto told the now shaking Sasuke.

The sound of the door sliding open filled Sasuke's ears, and Kakashi quickly turned him around to see.

"Ahh, nothing is more youthful than relaxing in a hot spring! Right, Lee?"

"Yosh, Gai-sensei!"

Standing there was none other than the two Green Beasts of Konoha, naked, and without towels. It only took Sasuke 1.5 seconds to faint. (Thank you for that, Shounen-Ai :P) Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Naruto couldn't contain their laughter as Gai and Lee dove in to rescue the now drowning Uchiha.

"Gai-sensei, do we need to do CPR again?" Lee asked after they got Sasuke out of the water. Before Gai could answer a fist flew up towards his face, but luckily he dodged before it hit.

"Get.The.Hell.Away.From.Me," Sasuke growled dangerously, making sure to keep his eyes closed.

"You woke up rather quickly," Kakashi commented from the side.

"Yeah, well my mind was filled with images of their bodies, so I made myself wake up rather quickly," Sasuke replied.

"It seems like Sasuke-kun doesn't appreciate our beautiful bodies," Lee said sadly.

"I agree. Let's go Lee; it seems we're not wanted here." They both left for the changing room, and Sasuke cracked an eye open. Seeing them gone, he opened them completely.

"Phew, glad that's-" The raven haired boy didn't get to say much more, seeing as the two burst back into the room, still clothe less.

"By the way Kakashi, you owe me $20 for that," Gai shot him a wide grin, teeth glinting in the light before he went back into the changing room. Sasuke twitched violently, turning around to face Kakashi.

"Kakashi, you bastard, how could you?! Do you know what you've done?" Sasuke exclaimed angrily, shaking his fist at the jounin. "I'm never going to be able to get to sleep, with those images haunting me in my nightmares! I'm not going to be able to eat anything either or I might throw it up! The mental image is stuck! STUCK!" (If any of you watch Drake and Josh, you should know that Josh has a habit of repeating the last word he says loudly when he's angry)

"Hey calm down kid. We saw as much as you did, you're not the only one scarred," Jiraiya said.

"Liar. I saw you guys turn around and look the other way," Sasuke spat, getting up and storming over to the changing room.

"Hey Sasuke, you know they might not have left-" The teen ignored Naruto's warning and slammed the door shut behind him. Shortly afterward they heard a scream. It's not very like Sasuke to scream, but after seeing that, even Itachi would probably scream.

Sasuke came running out a few moments later and dashed over to the nearest trash can. Sounds of vomiting were heard, and Jiraiya and Naruto decided to leave and give him his privacy.

"Heh, guess you really weren't lying about the throwing up thing were you?" Kakashi asked, while turning a page of his book. (Yes he was reading even while in the hot springs) This earned him a well aimed bottle of shampoo smacking him in the head.

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After Sasuke and Kakashi left the hot springs, the silver haired jounin went off to go to the Hokage for something and Sasuke had gone off to find another trash can. Meanwhile, Jiraiya had left to go to the Hokage too and Naruto was left alone to think of another idea.

"Hmm I wonder what I should try next. It's been fun torturing him, but now I think it's time to get serious." Naruto frowned. Who else could he ask? "I could always try Neji, seeing as him and Sasuke are nearly exactly alike. They're both cold bastards that think they're better than everyone else, so Neji has to know what would make Sasuke-teme smile!"

Luckily for Naruto, he didn't have to go far. Actually, he only had to turn around to see the Hyuuga walking towards him. (It's amazing how easy I make it for Naruto to find people) "Oi, Neji!" Naruto shouted, running over to him.

"What is it?" Neji grumbled, still irritated at Naruto for the drunk Sasuke incident. "If it's something involving getting Sasuke to smile, then I'm not interested."

"I don't need you to do anything. I just need to ask you what you think would make him smile."

"If I tell you, will you leave me alone for the rest of the day?"

"Agreed." Naruto nodded excitedly.

"Ok, I found this out when I was taking him to the hospital during the drunken incident." Naruto nodded intently. "Every time I grabbed onto his side to adjust him on my shoulder, he would jump and giggle."

"What's that supposed to mean?" The blonde asked stupidly.

"Naruto, please don't tell me you're too stupid to figure that out?" Naruto just gave him an innocent look. "It means that he's ticklish!"

"Uchiha Sasuke, ticklish? HAHAHA!" Naruto rolled on the ground laughing, while Neji gave him a weird look.

"I was quite surprised too, but I don't think it's that funny. Now get out of my sight, you have to keep your end of the deal." The prodigy said, prodding Naruto with his foot.

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It was quite easy to find the young Uchiha, seeing as all you had to do was follow the sounds of vomiting. _Wow, do the mental images really stay that long?_ Naruto wondered. Apparently they do, because Sasuke was still throwing up when Naruto found him bent over the trash can.

Naruto waited for Sasuke to pause in his retching, and then snuck up behind the Uchiha as quietly as he could. Naruto reached out and before Sasuke could do anything the smaller boy's fingers were dancing across Sasuke's stomach and sides, and he bit his lip to contain his laughter.

It was getting harder by the moment though, and soon enough laughter erupted from his throat. He bent his head forward so that his bangs would hide his face. _It sounds nice when he laughs, a real laugh, and not one of those empty chuckles_, Naruto thought. _He should laugh like this more often._ (That was not meant to be NaruSasu, it's just friendly)

Naruto leaned closer to try and see his mouth, but Sasuke's bangs covered them well. "Damn hair," Naruto mumbled to himself. The only way he'd be able to see would be if he stopped tickling Sasuke and jumped in front of him, but he might stop laughing by then.

Coming up with another alternative, Naruto took one hand from Sasuke's side and reached out to brush his bangs away. However, Naruto guessed only two hands worked on Sasuke because the laughter suddenly stopped and Naruto was now faced with a sharingan eyed, ticked off Uchiha.

Sasuke looked like he was about to punch the blonde's face in when luckily for Naruto, Sakura and Ino happened to come by and hug Sasuke. And by hug, he meant the two girls knocking Sasuke to the ground in a flying tackle and squeezing him in a vice-like grip.

Naruto managed to get away before Sasuke freed himself, but only to run into Kakashi and Jiraiya.

"Naruto, don't worry about thinking up another idea," Kakashi told him.

"Yeah, because we just got permission from the Hokage to give Sasuke a certain mission," Jiraiya said while grinning.

"Really? What mission, what mission?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Well the mission we're going to give Sasuke is…to be a babysitter for the kids at the Academy!"

_Special Thanks to Shounen-Ai and Tigerrelly._

I just wanted to thank these two for giving me the ideas for this chapter. Shounen-Ai had the idea for Sasuke to go to the hot springs and see Gai and Lee's bodies, and Tigerrelly had the idea for Naruto to tickle Sasuke. So if you liked those ideas, then please let them know! I hope you all enjoyed it, and just to let you know, I'm going on a cruise from the 22 to the 28 so I might not be able to get another chapter in.


	11. Chapter 11 Sasuke a Babysitter?

For future information, after I finish this story there are going to be a few alternate endings, courtesy of some reviewers. Thanks guys!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

"You want me to do WHAT?" Sasuke asked disbelievingly.

Tsunade sighed. Damn Jiraiya and Kakashi, leaving her to deal with the Uchiha. "I said I want you to baby sit the kids at the-"

"I know what you said, I just want to know why," he said angrily.

She sighed again and rubbed her temples in irritation. The Uchiha was so frustrating sometimes…wait scratch that, he was frustrating all the time. She was suspicious that he tried to be frustrating on purpose half the time just to annoy her.

"I already told you, Sasuke. Everyone else is busy or on other missions. And besides, you're the perfect guy for the job."

Sasuke snorted. "How am I the perfect guy for the job? Tell me, when have you ever seen me even communicating in any way with a little kid?"

The frustration was building up. He was trying to annoy her, she knew it. "Don't ask me, this mission was suggested for you by Kakashi and Jiraiya. They said that Naruto thought you were good with kids, and that you should be a babysitter for them."

"Naruto? What in our history together makes him think I'm capable of doing something like that?" (I got that line from Shanghai Knights. I love Owen Wilson, he's hilarious!)

"I don't know Uchiha, but it's a mission and I command you to do it!" Tsunade snapped, losing her temper.

"Well I'm not going to do it," Sasuke snapped back, getting up and storming to the door.

"Don't you dare open that door Uchiha!"

Sasuke twisted the handle and the door swung open.

"Don't you dare disobey my orders!"

"I just did."

"UCHIHA!" She barked, lunging at him.

Sasuke's eyed widened. He had heard of what Tsunade could do and he didn't feel like being blasted to smithereens anytime soon, thank you very much. He closed the door and ran back to his seat.

She stopped in mid-lunge and blinked in surprise. _Well that got him to obey. I'll have to remember that…_

"Alright Sasuke, I'm not asking you to do much. I just want you to go to the Academy and watch the kids for one hour, not a lot of time," she explained, trying to sound calm.

Sasuke muttered a few things under his breath, but obeyed and went to the door. He was about to turn the handle when Tsunade stopped him.

"Oh, and one more thing Sasuke. Try to behave yourself, ok?"

She smiled when he growled under his breath and slammed the door shut.

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Sasuke was grumbling the whole way to the Academy, and Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Naruto followed silently behind him.

"Why are we following him again? If he discoverers us, we're dead," Naruto whispered.

"We're following in case he needs helps," Jiraiya whispered back.

"Help from what? They're just a bunch of seven year olds." Kakashi pointed out.

"I know, but I went to see these kids before I assigned the mission. They may be a little…difficult."

"Difficult in what way?"

"Well, half of them are pretty affectionate and clingy, like Sakura, while the other half is pranksters, like Naruto."

"Ahh, I see. Poor Sasuke, he has to deal with a classroom full of mini Sakuras and Narutos."

"Hey! I'm not that bad!"

"Shut up Naruto, he's entering the classroom!" Jiraiya hissed.

The three crept to the window of the classroom and peered in, sitting back to watch the show.

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Fifteen pairs of big, round eyes turned towards him as Sasuke opened the door. They observed him curiously as he stomped over to the desk and glared at them.

"I'm being forced to watch over you brats for an hour, so do what you normally do and come to me if you need anything. But do me a favor, and don't need anything. Any questions?"

The students exchanged glances. None of them were brave enough to ask this scary new ninja a question.

"You never told us your name, sensei," one brown haired student with freckles asked.

Sasuke twitched a little, not used to being called sensei. "That's for me to know and you to find out."

"But-"

"No buts." Sasuke spun around in the chair, turning his back on the students. (Sasuke is a very good teacher, isn't he?)

This turned out to be a bad decision, a very bad decision.

"Hey, you're an Uchiha!" The same student exclaimed as he saw the mark on the back of his shirt. "You must be Uchiha Sasuke!"

A surprised gasp came from each of the students as they stared at Sasuke in amazement. _Shit, this is exactly why I didn't want them to find out. I know what they're going to ask me next…_

"Uchiha-sensei, will you spar with us?"

"Please, Uchiha-san?"

"Yeah, please?"

Sasuke snorted. "Are you kidding? I can't spar with you, I'd kick your little asses." As soon as he realized what he said he clamped a hand over his mouth. _I've got to watch my language around them…_

It was too late though. All the kids in the room gasped and looked at him in surprise.

"Uchiha-sensei just swooore!" They chanted.

"Shut up, no I didn't!" He snapped.

"Yes you did, you said ass!"

WACK!

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Don't say that word!"

"What word?"

"Ass!"

"He just swore again!"

"AGHHH!"

Outside the classroom with Kakashi, Naruto, and Jiraiya.

"He's not doing too well, is he?" Kakashi asked absently, turning a page in his book.

"Nope, he can't control his mouth," Jiraiya answered.

"I wonder how long he'll last," Naruto said.

"My bet is twenty minutes. If he's anything like Orochimaru, he won't last too long in a room full of kids."

"Oh come on Perverted Hermit, give him more credit. I say thirty minutes! He's my closest friend, I think I know him best."

"Yeah, well I say 59 minutes." They both shot him a weird look at the odd number. "He's a lot like me when I was younger. Trust me, he'll last until the last minute."

"Alright, let's bet fifteen dollars," Jiraiya said.

"Deal!"

Back with Sasuke and the kids.

"Alright, I'll show you a few moves if you shut up about me cussing, deal?"

Their faces lit up. "Deal, Uchiha-sensei!"

"Good," Sasuke sighed. "Now what do you want to learn?"

"Teach us how to throw shuriken!" They all exclaimed at once.

Sasuke looked taken aback. He was reminded of his childhood before the massacre, when he would always ask Itachi to teach him how to throw shuriken.

"Uchiha-san?" One of the girls asked.

"Sure," he said before he could stop himself.

The students squealed in delight and formed a line in front of him. Then they realized that they were missing something very important.

"Wait, we can't practice without the training post," a girl with short, black hair pointed out.

"Use something instead of it then," Sasuke replied.

They looked around. "Like what?"

"The wall," he said simply.

"But we're not supposed to use the wall."

"Says who?"

"The teachers."

"Then disobey them."

"But what if we get in trouble?"

"Blame it on me."

"But what if you get in trouble?"

"Then I'll blame it on Naruto."

Everyone agreed on this so the argument was closed and they used the wall for a target.

"Now, the goal is to get seven shuriken in a straight line on the wall," Sasuke explained. "Like so."

Getting into position, he flung his arms forward and let the shuriken fly out gracefully. Each one of them thudded into the wall, and when his fingers were empty of all shuriken, there was a perfect line of them.

The students gazed in admiration as Sasuke plucked the shuriken out of the wall one by one.

"Alright, now it's your turn. You, blondie! You're first," he said, pointing to a short kid closest to him that kind of reminded him of Naruto.

"Watch how it's done! I'll get them in a line the first time I try!" He boasted, taking a step forward. He formed a position like Sasuke's and copied his movements, letting the shuriken fly out of his hands.

Apparently he wasn't as good as he boasted, because only three of the shuriken were in a line and the other four were far off target.

The other students laughed at the blonde boy and he bowed his head in embarrassment. Sasuke silenced them. "Do you think you could do it better?" He asked the crowd. "Come up here and try it then."

They shuffled their feet nervously, not to keen to make fools of themselves. When no one stepped forward, he smirked. "That's what I thought. Don't make fun of him if you can't do any better. Go to the back of the line and try again after these cowards," Sasuke said to the blonde boy. He shot Sasuke a small grateful smile before jogging to the back of the line.

"If no one is going to volunteer, then I'll make you go. You, come up here," he said, pointing to the girl with short black hair. She separated herself from the line and made her way to him. She got out her shuriken nervously and was about to throw them when he grabbed her arm.

"Don't be so tense, or you're not going to do well. Be confident in your abilities, but don't be overly cocky," he said. (Sasuke you hypocrite…)

She nodded and took a deep breath to relax herself. Forming a position, the shuriken left her hands and glided into the wall.

Sasuke's advice had apparently helped, seeing as five of the shuriken were in a perfect line, and the other two weren't that far off from the others. She smiled happily and looked up at Sasuke.

"See, all you have to do is be confident. You nearly got it perfect, go to the back of the line and try again after the others." The girl nodded happily and stood in the back behind the blonde boy.

Each of the other students went, and none of them got it perfect but it wasn't terrible either. Things went by quite uneventfully actually, that is until a girl cut her finger.

"Ow!" A girl with red hair and green eyes cried out.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, coming over to see the girl holding her bleeding finger and biting back tears.

"I cut my finger on the shuriken," she sniffed.

He sighed. _I fear the day that they become genin…_ "Put your finger in your mouth and wait here. I'll go find a bandage." He turned to the other students. "Behave yourselves."

Sasuke reluctantly closed the door and walked down the hall. _I'm afraid to find out what trouble they get into by the time I get back…_

Outside the classroom with Kakashi, Naruto, and Jiraiya again.

"Where's he going?" Naruto asked curiously, watching Sasuke leave the room.

"That girl cut her finger it looks like. I think he's going to get a bandage," Kakashi said.

"Aww how sweet, the Uchiha actually cares," Jiraiya said sarcastically.

"Well by the time he comes back that will make it forty minutes, so you two lost the bet already." Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. "Nineteen more minutes and I win."

"Don't brag, Kaka-sensei," Naruto grumbled.

"I'm not bragging, I'm merely stating the truth."

"Shut up you two, he came back!" Jiraiya hissed. They stopped bickering and turned their attention back to the classroom. Things were going to get interesting…

Luckily the nurse's office was only a few rooms down from the one the kids were in, and Sasuke returned with the bandage in no time. He turned the handle and flung the door open.

His eyes turned the size of basketballs (ok, so maybe they weren't that big) at the sight he saw.

Half the kids were running around the room chucking water balloons at each other that he had no idea where they got them from, while the other half was running around screaming or cowering behind their desks.

The moment he stepped through the door five of the girls tackled him to the ground.

"Uchiha-san, please stop them!" They whined, clinging to him like a lifeline. He tried shaking them off, but they were as clingy as Sakura.

"I can't stop them until you get off," he growled in irritation. The girls reluctantly let go of him. He tried to stand up, but that attempt failed when the girls squealed, dove behind him, and held onto him.

"Wha-?" He was cut off when a dozen water balloons pelted him.

"Uchiha-san, are you ok?" One of the little girls asked worriedly.

"I'm drenched and covered with shreds of burst balloons. No, I am not okay!" He snapped. "And you used me as a shield, even!"

The girl looked like she was to the point of tears. He sighed; he hated it when girls cried, especially when he was the cause of it. "Look, stay behind that desk so you don't get hit by balloons. I'll try to stop this madness."

She sniffed and nodded. Her and the four other girls followed his instructions and took shelter.

Sasuke, meanwhile, took off after the boys who pelted him.

With Naruto, Kakashi, and Jiraiya….again.

"It's getting out of hand in there…"Jiraiya commented as he watched Sasuke get pelted with water balloons as he made his way over to the group of boys.

"Very out of hand," Naruto agreed as Sasuke tackled the boys. "Haha, Sasuke-teme just got a water balloon three times the size of his head dropped on him!"

"It's been fifty five minutes. Only four more and I win," Kakashi said cheerfully.

The other two shot him glares and ignored him as they turned back to the window.

Back with Sasuke and the kids.

"Get back here you little brats!" He snapped as he lunged at the four boys who pelted him. Three of them dodged him, but he caught the brown haired boy.

"Help me, guys!" He shouted, wiggling in the older boy's grip.

They turned back around towards their fallen friend. "Don't worry, we'll save you!"

Sasuke was just about to wonder how they would do that when he heard a very loud pop, and an ocean of water poured on his head. His grip on the boy loosed and he scrambled out of the Uchiha's grip.

Sasuke sat there stupidly. "What the hell was that?"

The water balloon war stopped and all eyes turned to him. He slapped a hand to his forehead.

"Shit, I have to watch my language."

All the kids gasped and he mentally scolded himself.

"I did it again, damn it!"

The kids stared at him and then started chanting.

"Uchiha-sensei just swooore!"

Sasuke's eye twitched.

"AGHHH!"

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Kakashi watched with amusement as the doors to the Academy flung open and Sasuke bolted out of them.

"Fifty nine minutes," he said looking at his watch. "I win."

Naruto and Jiraiya grudgingly took out their wallets and paid up.

"I still can't believe that you guessed the time perfectly," Jiraiya muttered.

"What can I say, I know him really well. That gives me advantages," Kakashi said cheerfully. "One of these advantages is that I know what will make him smile."

"Really? What is it?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"A sure way to make him smile is to get his fan girls to like someone else. Or at least pretend to like someone else, seeing as it would be impossible to make them actually stop liking him," Kakashi explained.

"That's genius, Kaka-sensei!" Naruto cheered happily.

"Yeah, but how do we convince them to pretend to stop liking him?" Jiraiya asked.

"I think I have an idea…" Kakashi said slyly.

_Special Thanks to yingyanglover._

I wanted to thank yingyanglover for giving me the idea to make Sasuke be a babysitter, it was genius. If you guys liked that idea then please let yingyanglover know. I appreciate everyone who has given me ideas and everyone who has reviewed; you've kept this story going! Hang on for the next chapter, and sorry it took awhile to get this one out!


	12. Chapter 12 Fangirl Insanity!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: First I want to apologize for how long it took to get this out! I've been so busy with school and soccer that it's hard for me to get a lot of time to type chapters for this. Also, I had to go through a lot of crap with my computer. It turns out I've had a virus for awhile, so my dad had to save everything on a stick and I had to go through all my files to make sure he got everything, then he had to restart my computer and put everything back on. Then I had to go through crap with my ipod because I plugged it into my computer to charge it, then a bunch of boxes popped up saying "we can't find the files for these songs" which basically means that those songs will be deleted when I take my ipod out. I discovered that this was because when my dad saved everything to the stick, he didn't save limewire (that's where I get most of my music from) because he thought that my music from limewire was saved onto Itunes, so I lost all my songs that I got from limewire, which is like 90 songs. So then I had to re-download limewire and get each and every song back. So as you can see, I've been pretty stressed lately. So I'm really really really sorry, all of my readers and reviewers!

Chapter 12: Fangirl Insanity

"Ok girls, I've got a job for you," Kakashi told the many female Konoha shinobi surrounding him, also know as Sasuke's fangirls.

"Well what is it, Kakashi-sensei? I haven't got all day," Sakura spoke up from beside Ino.

"Fine, fine, I need all of you to stop liking Sasuke." Kakashi covered his ears, knowing what their reaction would be.

"WHAAAT?!?!?!" Came the screams that Kakashi predicted. Even with his hands shielding his ears, he still felt like his eardrums were shattered.

"Calm down, calm down! I don't mean permanently, just for awhile," Kakashi reassured them.

"Give us one reason why we should give up our beloved Sasuke-kun!" Ino demanded. There were murmurs of agreement amongst the other girls.

Kakashi sighed. Why did they have to make it so difficult? "I'll make you a deal. If you girls all pretend to stop liking Sasuke, and pretend like someone else instead, then I'll give you each twenty bucks. How's that sound?"

Most of them looked satisfied, but Ino and Sakura were suspicious.

"Who exactly do we have to like instead of Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

"You were always the smart one, Sakura. You aren't ready to seal the deal until you learn the price you have to pay." Kakashi chuckled nervously. "Well, the person you have to pretend to have a crush on is…Chouji." Once more, the jounin's hands flew towards his ears.

"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?!?!"

_I'd be surprised if I haven't…_Kakashi thought with a sigh. "Don't get angry with me, I'm giving you twenty dollars, remember?"

"Do you think we'd actually even _pretend_ to like _Chouji,_ of all people, for twenty measly bucks?!" Ino and Sakura screamed angrily.

"I'll let each of you kiss Sasuke when it's over with," Kakashi threw in.

"Deal."

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Uchiha Sasuke was suspicious. Uchiha Sasuke was _very _suspicious. The reason for his suspicion? None of his fangirls were anywhere in sight. No girls were hiding around the corners, ready to pounce of him. Sakura and Ino weren't hanging off of him. It was 10:00 p.m. too, which was their favorite time to hunt him, and none of them were in sight.

Something was up, and Sasuke was determined to find out.

He didn't know why it bothered him so much that his fangirls weren't following him around. Heck, he should be celebrating! But for some reason, he wanted them back. _Wow, this is pretty pathetic of me. I'm so used to having them around that it bothers me when they aren't around…I am very ashamed of myself._

Sasuke was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't realize where his feet had taken him. The avenger was standing in front of the Ichiraku (I know I spelled that wrong…) ramen shop.

"Why'd I come here?" He whispered to himself. He was about to turn around and leave when the sound of high pitched voices reached his ears.

"Oh Chouji-kun, you're so talented!" A girl giggled. _That can't be…the voice sounds just like Sakura's! _Sasuke thought.

"You're so cute Chouji-kun!" Another voice giggled. _And that sounds like Ino's! Something is very wrong here._ Without a second thought, Sasuke marched over to the ramen stand and threw the little curtain up, to see a sight that he never expected to see in a thousand years.

The Akimichi was surrounded by all of Sasuke's previous fangirls, who were fanning him and lavishing him with praise. The worst part was that Sakura and Ino were _feeding him_ _ramen_! "What do you think you're doing, Chouji!" Sasuke hissed.

Chouji gulped down the bite of ramen that Sakura was holding out to him, nearly chomping her hand off in the process. "Whatever do you mean, Sasuke?"

"Don't mess with me, since when have you been so popular with the ladies?"

Chouji shrugged. "I don't really know, they all suddenly asked me out. I guess chicks don't dig the angsty, emo thing anymore, Sasuke. You're out of style."

"What are you implying?" Sasuke asked venomously.

"You need to change your looks. Girls like guys with some meat on them, and you're stick thin. Maybe fatten yourself up a bit, and then they'll rush after you." Choji winked at the fuming Uchiha and turned back to Sakura and Ino. "More ramen please, girls."

That was the last straw. How dare Chouji, of all people, give _Uchiha Sasuke_ beauty tips!

Sasuke was about to launch a kunai at the Akimichi's face, but Sakura beat Sasuke to him.

"That's it, I can't do this anymore!" Sakura screeched, dumping the entire bowl of ramen on the poor ninja's head. "That's the eightieth bowl he's eaten! He's worse than Naruto, it's disgusting!"

Ino followed her example, emptying the contents of the bowl onto Chouji. "I agree! Let's go find Naruto, at least he's cute!"

The rest of the Chouji fangirls, who were previously Sasuke fangirls until they changed into Chouji fangirls, and who were now Naruto fangirls (try saying that 5 times fast), followed Sakura and Ino as they charged away from the ramen shop.

"Wait girls, don't go! I thought we had something special!" Chouji wailed after them.

"Well, well Chouji, it looks like girls don't dig the chubby, eat-a-lot thing anymore. You're out of style." Sasuke smirked, turning Chouji's words against him.

_Well, I got them to stop liking Chouji, but now they're after Naruto! I can take having my fangirls crushing on Chouji, but Naruto is out of the question!_ Spinning around, Sasuke left the wailing Chouji behind and took off in the direction of his previously Sasuke fangirls, until they turned into Chouji fangirls, then changed into Naruto fangirls.

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The Kyuubi's vessel couldn't wait to see the look on Sasuke's face when he saw his best friend and rival being pampered by all his fangirls! Naruto chuckled evilly as the Sasuke fangirls who changed to Chouji fangirls then to Naruto fangirls clung to his arms and popped grapes in his mouth.

"Naruto-kun, you're so cute with your blonde hair and blue eyes!" Ino cooed.

"Yeah, and you're so talented and strong!" Another fangirl purred.

"Now, now girls, I'm not that great! I'm just so much better!" Naruto chuckled. He failed to notice the hints of sarcasm in their voices and their forced smiles.

Minutes passed as the girls lavished him with praises, and Naruto was beginning to grow impatient. _Where the hell is that teme? He should've been here awhile ago…_he thought. Frustrated, he sat up and pouted angrily. _I guess I better go look for him, then._

He tried to stand, but found that he couldn't move. His previously Sasuke fangirls who changed to Chouji fangirls who were now Naruto fangirls (Ok, I'll stop now, you get the point…) were still clinging on to him. "Hehe you girls can let go now, I need to go find Sasuke-teme."

They didn't budge. Instead, more of them grabbed on to him. Naruto attempted to shake them off, which had the exact opposite effect of what he wanted. Their grips tightened, and it was getting hard for him to breathe.

"Seriously, let go!" He wiggled and squirmed, but to no avail. _How does Sasuke put up with this?_

Finally, after prying his way out of the mass of fangirls, he bolted. _I got to get out of here! _He thought frantically. Turning the corner of the apartments, he let out a high pitched girly scream. A mob of fangirls were waiting there with crazy looks on their face. He spun around and let his feet take him to the Hokage's office. He swerved right there and ran smack into a few more fangirls.

"Holy crap, they're around every corner!" He screeched. "How the hell does Sasuke put up with this?" The poor blonde frantically backed up a few steps, and sky blue eyes widened in horror when his back pressed up against the wall.

"We've got you now, Naruto-kun!" His fangirls laughed insanely as they descended upon him. The girls lunged at him, and Naruto clamped his eyes shut, awaiting his terrible death-by-being-crushed-by-fangirls.

Except it never came, and the Kyuubi's vessel cracked one eye open just a slit.

"S-Sasuke?!" He asked in surprise. The Uchiha was grasping the collar of his jacket and dragging him away from the pile of fangirls. "What are you doing?"

"What, no thank you? I just saved you from being eaten alive by those crazy demons," Sasuke scowled, while dumping Naruto on the roof of a random house.

"Ouch! That hurt, damn it!" Naruto grumbled, rubbing his butt.

"Hn."

Naruto shot him a hateful glare. "Jeez, how do you deal with them anyways? They cling on to you like there's no tomorrow!"

"Why do you think I always try to avoid them? Once they grow fond of you, your privacy flies out the window. They stalk you 24/7, and even try to steal your clothes."

The blonde gave him a bewildered look. "They steal your clothes?"

"I caught Ino searching through my boxer drawer once."

"…That's just creepy."

"Yeah…you owe me, you know."

"Oh yeah, about that…" Naruto chuckled nervously.

"Actually, Sasuke, it's _you _who owes something." There was a loud poof, and when the smoke cleared, a certain perverted jounin stood there.

"What are you talking about?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

Kakashi grinned. "Well, let's just say that I…arranged something between you and your fangirls…"

Obsidian eyes widened in pure horror and disbelief. "You wouldn't!"

"I would."

"I thought I was your favorite student!"

"You are, but all's fair in love and war."

"Does that phrase even make sense in this situation?!"

Kakashi shrugged. "I don't know, but who cares. I believe that you have an appointment." With that said, Kakashi gave Sasuke a rough shove, and watched as the avenger toppled over the edge of the building.

"Won't he break his face or something when he hits the ground?" Naruto asked, peering over the edge.

"Nah, his entire fan club is down there. They'll catch him," Kakashi said absently, flipping open his book. "The only thing he has to worry about is suffocating from them all tackling him at once."

"Man, I feel kind of sorry for him. They're tearing him apart down there!" Naruto winced. "Wait, why are they each kissing him like fifty times? I thought you only agreed on one kiss each."

"I did, but then I decided to exchange the twenty dollars for more kisses. I'm a little low on cash at the moment…"

Naruto stared at him in disbelief. "You subjected your own student to this torture just so you could have some extra cash in your pocket? Kakashi-sensei, you cheapskate…"

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Tsunade stormed through her village impatiently, shoving people out of the way. Where was that damn Kakashi and Naruto? She had important news for them!

Jiraiya followed at a safe distance, making sure not to get in Tsunade's way. _I can't believe that I actually persuaded her to let me do this…_Jiraiya thought.

"Hey, who's that?" Tsunade suddenly asked, pointing ahead.

"Who? Don't you mean _what_?" Jiraiya corrected, for the person Tsunade saw didn't really look like much of a person at all. They looked more like something that had been put through a blender or a paper shredder. The person's clothes were shredded, their hair was all ruffled up and sticking in every direction, and their skin looked as though a number of people had clawed at it.

"Uchiha?" Tsunade exclaimed in amazement. "What happened to you? You look terrible!"

The boy gave her a blank look. "Fangirls," he said with a shiver and continued to stumble past them. Tsunade gazed after him with a sympathetic look, knowing full well the horror of fangirls.

"I actually feel kind of sorry for the kid," Jiraiya murmered.

"Hey, Perverted Hermit!" An annoying voice called.

"Naruto, Kakashi, it's about time you got here!" Tsunade grumbled at the two arriving ninjas.

"Sorry, but Kakashi-sensei insisted he go and get the new Icha Icha Paradise first," Naruto said, shooting a glare at Kakashi who was giggling and flipping through his new book.

"Whatever, Jiraiya just tell them," Tsunade growled.

"Right, well I had an idea to make Sasuke smile, and I managed to convince Tsunade to agree," Jiraiya explained.

"Well that's good news, seeing as the last idea had the complete opposite effect of what I wanted," Kakashi mumbled.

Jiraiya continued. "I thought that maybe, just maybe, Sasuke would smile if we brought the _real_ Itachi here…"

_Special Thanks to ddd 0, distant6, and LightBender._

I wanted to thank ddd 0 for the idea for Sasuke's fangirls to like someone else, distant6 for the idea of Sasuke having to save Naruto during one of his schemes, and LightBender for the idea of his fangirls to like Chouji. I really appreciate you all giving me ideas; this story would be really short without you guys! Please review, and hang on for the next chapter!


	13. Chapter 13 Just Like Old Times, Sort Of

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: I have no excuse for not updating, it was simply pure laziness. Also, I had my soccer tournaments last weekend! Woot woot! My team did really well; we made it to the finals. However, we lost 2 to 1 to this team with neon yellow uniforms. I'm not trying to sound like a bad sport or anything, but I don't think they deserved to win. They were awesome soccer players, but they were obnoxious and terrible sports. When one of my team's players got hurt and had to go out, some of their players started laughing at him! . It made me so angry...Hehe, I guess I let myself get carried away in my ranting that you probably don't even care about. So now, I'll move on with the story:D

Chapter 13: Just Like Old Times, Sort Of

"How did you manage to get him, Tsunade?" Jiraiya asked the blonde woman sitting beside him. The two Sannin were waiting in Tsunade's office for Kakashi and the Anbu to bring Itachi.

"Simple, I offered him a reward in return," she replied, gazing out the window.

"No, I mean how did you _find_ him? He's an S Ranked criminal, a very elusive one at that."

"I have connections…" The 5th answered with shifty eyes.

Jiraiya involuntarily shivered. _I'm afraid to find out what exactly those connections are…_

"Tsunade-sama, what did you need me for?"

The two Sannin spun around at the cold yet polite voice. Uchiha Itachi stood in the doorway, surrounded by Kakashi and the Anbu.

_Amazing, I didn't sense them at all! _Jiraiya thought.

Tsunade rose from her seat and cleared her throat in a commanding tone. "Uchiha Itachi, in a nutshell, I want you to become the older brother you once were to Sasuke."

Itachi raised an eyebrow in disbelief, and Jiraiya quickly detailed Tsunade's request. "We just need you to…umm…we need you to…err…" It was a lot harder than Jiraiya thought it would be to tell Itachi what he had to do.

"We need you to tuck Sasuke in and read him a bedtime story," Kakashi said, straight to the point.

Itachi remained expressionless, but Kakashi was pretty sure that on the inside, he was scoffing at such a degrading thought.

"I suspect that you are comfortable enough with the rewards?" Tsunade asked. The only answer she received was a slight nod from the stoic Uchiha. "So, will you go along with our plan?"

"With the utmost respect, Tsunade-sama, I have no intention of lowering my dignity to that level," Itachi said in monotone.

"Very well then, you're making me use my most drastic measures!" Tsunade stormed over to the murderous teen and whispered something in his ear.

"Deal," he immediately agreed.

Tsunade grinned evilly, and Kakashi and Jiraiya looked on with amazement and horror. Amazement, at how she managed to persuade Uchiha Itachi, an S ranked criminal in the Akatsuki and the man in charge of the Uchiha massacre, to throw his pride away like that, and fear of what she promised him in return. The two men suddenly felt terrible sorry for Sasuke, for they were sure that what she guaranteed Itachi was going to be used as her own revenge against Sasuke.

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Uchiha Sasuke let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into the shower. The warm water running down his skin felt good on all his cuts and bruises from the fan girls. He shuddered at the memory as he piled soap onto a wash cloth. He scrubbed ferociously at the lipstick marks on his face, as if to remove any trace that he came in contact with the lovesick girls.

Drops of water rolled down Sasuke's pale skin as he switched off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist. After every last drop of water was dried off his skin, he pulled on some new clothes, seeing as his old ones were ruthlessly shredded by those vicious…things!

Twisting the knob and cracking open the door slightly, the avenger felt a familiar presence flood the bathroom like a valley floods when a damn breaks open.

"Itachi," he growled. It took all of his self restraint not to fling open the door and tackle the hated man, wrapping his hands around his throat and choking the life out of him.

Unfortunately, Sasuke's self restraint isn't very strong, so the Uchiha did just that.

"RAWR!!!" The raven haired boy lunged at his older (and less hot) brother (sorry Itachi fans, but I just had to put that there!). However, instead of feeling Itachi's flesh peel away under his nails, he felt strong arms wrap around him….was Itachi _holding_ him?!

"Calm down little brother, or else I won't read you your bed time story!" Itachi scolded, in a very un-Itachi-like tone.

"What the hell are you talking about? It's only 11:00, on a weekend! By the way, put me down!" The younger Uchiha snapped.

Itachi tutted as he tilted his head to the side to avoid his brother's flying fists. "Now, now Sasuke, is that any way to treat your older brother?"

"My older brother, who just happens to be the one who _massacred_ my family and made my life hell!"

"That happened so long ago, can't you let go of it already? You hold the nastiest grudges."

Sasuke twitched. This was the last straw! "I'm going to kill you! I'm going to freakin' kill you!" He ripped a kunai from his pouch and stabbed it at the older Uchiha's face. Instead of seeing a satisfying amount of blood spraying from his brother's face however, he was greeted with the sight of snow white bed sheets. Before Sasuke could make a move, Itachi pulled the blanket up to the boy's chin and tucked him in. This here, meaning pulling the sheets as close to the floor as they could go and pinning shurikens in them so that they stuck to the floor.

"What…do you think…you're…doing?" Sasuke gasped. "You stretched them so tight…that I can't…breathe!"

"Oh, stop whining! This is what big brothers are supposed to do!"

"Suffocate their little…brothers?"

"No, restrain their little brothers so that they will be forced to listen to their brothers ramble on about some little girl wearing a red hood that tries to take some goodies to her grandma's house that has been eaten by a wolf." Itachi took a deep breath. "Well, that was a mouth full!"

Sasuke gave his brother an incredulous look. "What…is with you? Are you…sick or something?"

"Nope, just following orders."

"Orders? From whom?"

"Never mind about that, its story time!" Itachi perched on the side of Sasuke's bed, pulling the covers down even more, and limiting poor Sasuke's air supply drastically. He pulled a huge book of fairytales out of his cloak (Sasuke had no idea why he carried that around in the first place) and flipped to a page. "Once upon a time," he started, pulling some reading glasses out of his cloak, "there was a girl named Little Red Riding Hood, and her mother told her to deliver a basket of goodies to her grandma…"

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"Guys, I feel kind of bad…" Naruto murmured, observing the two brothers through the window.

"Why so?" Jiraiya questioned.

"Whenever Sasuke has to go through something like this, we always just spy on him through the window while he gets tortured. It makes me feel like a weenie…"

"Psh, don't feel that way. We haven't done it that often, only a couple of times."

"Let's see, there was that time when he got drunk, then when he had a hangover, then there was also that time when we made him be a babysitter, and now we're spying on him _again_…"

"Alright, alright already Kakashi, I get it," Jiraiya grumbled, defeated. "Well what do you want to do about it, Naruto? Go in there with him? He'll rip you to shreds!"

"Yeah, you have a point. But still…"

A loud, ear shattering scream cut Naruto off.

"What the heck was that?!" Jiraiya asked, jumping to his feet.

"It sounded like Sasuke…How is "The Little Red Riding Hood" that bad?" Kakashi questioned.

"That's not what he screamed about," Tsunade announced, making a sudden appearance.

"Tsunade-sama, what are you letting Itachi do to him?" Kakashi asked, glancing back at the window, but it was too dark to see through.

"It's part of the agreement. I said that I would allow him to rant on to Sasuke about "how he doesn't have enough hatred" again, and I also said that he could torture Sasuke with the tsukiyomi."

Naruto's eyes widened in horror. "Don't you know what you've done?! You're going to scar Sasuke emotionally for life….again, for the umpteenth time!"

"No Naruto, I didn't let him torture Sasuke with his family getting killed or anything. I don't know exactly what Itachi is torturing him with, but it's nothing like that."

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. "But wait…what could Itachi possibly show Sasuke that would make him scream like that, if it isn't his family being killed?"

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Sasuke screamed in horror as he was forced into Itachi's tsukiyomi. Itachi stood in front of him, torturing him in the worst way he could without breaking the agreement with Tsunade. That torture was…poking Sasuke's forehead repeatedly. However, in the world of tsukiyomi, his poke was given 10x more power than before, so Sasuke's head bounced back and forth like a ping pong ball.

"So little brother, do you have enough hatred yet?"

"Yyyeeesss…." Sasuke managed to get out as his head was knocked back and forth.

"Wrong answer, little brother." Itachi gave Sasuke's forehead an extra hard poke. "Your hatred is still not enough. When you have eyes like mine, then, come and confront me, and-"

"I know, I know already! I've heard this speech ten times!" Sasuke snapped. "Now let me out, I'm getting a headache!"

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Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Naruto glared daggers at Itachi as he stepped out of the house. Ignoring them, he walked up to Tsunade. "My work here is done," he stated simply. "Nice doing business with you." Pulling on his straw hat, he passed her and disappeared into the shadows.

Minutes ticked by as they gazed after him, until Naruto asked the question that had been bugging him all day. "Ero-sennin, why did you think that bringing Itachi here would make Sasuke smile?"

Jiraiya chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "Funny thing about that, I didn't think it would. I just wanted to torture the kid a little."

"WHAAAT?!?!" Naruto screamed in disbelief. "What has he ever done to you?!"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Nothing really, I just don't like him. He reminds me of Orochimaru, it gives me the creeps."

"I'm going to kill you, perverted hermit!" Naruto yelled in fury, pouncing on the white haired man.

"Hey, get off!" Jiraiya growled, struggling with the Uzumaki. "It's no different from what you've put him through!"

Eyes widened in realization, Naruto slowly climbed off of him. "You're right," he said quietly. "But not anymore. I have an idea, one final idea, on how to make Sasuke smile. I'll even do it without putting him through any discomfort or torture or anything like that. I promise."

_Special Thanks to Krissy0_

I'm grateful to Krissy0 for giving me the idea to have the real Itachi come and tuck Sasuke in and read him a story. Also, guess what people? The last chapter is coming up next! Wow, I can't believe I've finally gotten to the end. There will also be some alternate endings after the last chapter, so hang on for those. In the last chapter, I'm going to list all the names of people who have reviewed in special thanks, and there are a lot of you, so if I accidentally leave one of your names out, forgive me and let me know.

By the way, in your review (if you review) answer this question for me. Since this chapter was about Sasuke and Itachi, I might as well ask an opinion question on them. Which brother do you think is hotter, Sasuke (heck yeah!), or Itachi?


	14. Chapter 14 Final Attempt, Sasuke's Smile

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: Oh my gosh…the last time I updated was October! You guys must hate me! Jeez, I didn't think it was that long since I last submitted a chapter. I am so sorry! I'll try to make this chapter as good as I can for you guys! ^_^ Oh yeah, and I'll also list all of the reviewers names in a special thanks…at least that's what I was going to do, until I listed nearly all of them on here and they took up nearly two pages. I didn't really realize that so many people liked this story! I really appreciate it, all of you, whether you just favorited it or reviewed or even if you just read it. Thanks so much! Enjoy the end to Mission: Make Sasuke Smile! :D

Chapter 14: The Final Attempt-Will the Uchiha Smile?

"…I thought you said that you were going to get him to smile without any tricks," Jiraiya accused, watching the blonde shinobi run around Konoha, setting his plan into action.

"No, I said I would make him smile without torturing him or anything like that," Naruto corrected.

"Whatever you say, although I don't think the two are that different," the white haired sannin mumbled to himself.

"Yeah, well you're 60, your opinion doesn't matter," Naruto stated rudely, continuing on with his business.

"I'm only 50!" Jiraiya growled.

"You're that young?" The blonde questioned in genuine surprise.

"Why you little…"

"Hey, hey, calm down you two," Kakashi said calmly, holding his friend back from tackling his student. "You're going to run out of time to make Sasuke smile."

"Which is why I'm fixing that problem," Naruto reminded him. "There, I think that's the last one."

"Now, we just have to find Sasuke."

"Not we, _me_," the Uzumaki corrected Jiraiya. "I said I was going to accomplish this on my own. I have a plan."

"Fine, you can do it on your own. Let me just tell you this though: I think I know where Sasuke is."

"Ok, you can tell me, but don't follow me when I go to him," Naruto told Kakashi.

"Fair enough," the Copy Ninja agreed. "If I remember correctly, his favorite place to think is the dock over the lake. I know you know where that is."

Naruto swallowed. He knew too well where that was. This was going to be awkward…

_A memory flashed through the shinobi's mind, a memory of a 7-year-old Naruto walking from the park back to his house. He passed the familiar sight of the lake, except it wasn't so familiar at the moment. Something made the scene unusual, or someone, actually. A young dark haired boy sat on the dock hanging over the lake, his feet swinging back and forth over the dark depths. The kyuubi container recognized the boy as Uchiha Sasuke, the genius in his class._

_Except there was something different about him…it was hard to see from the distance between them, but Naruto recognized it. Unlike the emotionless mask the Uchiha wore every other time he saw him, Sasuke looked lost and alone…and sad…What was wrong with him?_

_Uzumaki Naruto felt a strange pang of sympathy towards the Uchiha, and he felt the urge to go comfort him. However, he walked onward, knowing that the Uchiha would probably shun his help if he offered it. However, Naruto could not help but spare a backwards glance, and he noticed that Sasuke was staring at him also. The cheerful boy released a huge grin, and out of the corner of his eye he spotted a small yet happy smile spread on the raven haired boy's face, too..._

How were the two boys to know that on this day, if Naruto succeeded in nursing a smile out of the Uchiha, the same moment might occur again?

Naruto bit his lip, hard, not realizing how long he'd been thinking.

"Naruto?" Kakashi urged gently.

"Oh, yeah!" The energetic blonde snapped back to reality, slapping on a cheerful grin. "I'll go to him now. Thanks for your help, guys!" Naruto called, waving over his shoulder as he took off towards the docks.

The two older men watched his back disappear, and the eldest one released a sigh. "If the Uchiha doesn't smile, and Naruto went through all of this and put _us_ through all of this for nothing, then I'm going to kick Sasuke's ass to next September."

Kakashi chuckled as he pulled out his perverted book. "Don't worry, the odds are high that Sasuke will smile, the place they're meeting up at will ensure it." (1)

The Sannin shot him a look of confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing," the Copy Ninja replied cheerfully, flipping a page and giggling in a perverted fashion.

_Wow, Kaka-sensei is smarter than I give him credit for_, Naruto thought as he approached the dock, which Uchiha Sasuke was indeed perched on. Naruto stood a few feet behind the raven haired boy, nervous about approaching him. He knew that Sasuke knew he was there. Well, it was now or never.

"Sasuke?" Naruto approached hesitantly, taking a seat beside his friend. The avenger said nothing in response, and Naruto took that as his cue to continue. "I admit it…you're better than me." (2)

Sasuke looked slightly surprised at first, but then his lips curled into a smirk. "Are you just now realizing that?"

"No…I've always known it," Naruto replied quietly. "You've always managed to upstage me in everything. You have better aim with shuriken than me, your ninjutsu is better than mine, and you're so popular with everyone else, especially the girls."

"Is that why you hated me?" Sasuke asked, still surprised that Naruto actually admitted it.

"No, I never really hated you…I actually admired you. That admiration just turned to jealousy."

Sasuke looked up in shock at Naruto's words. _He…admired me?_

"I always wanted to be just like you because you're really strong, a lot stronger than I am," Naruto said quietly, avoiding Sasuke's eyes. "You're even strong enough to defeat your brother, I think."

Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise. _That's the first time anyone has ever told me that they think I can kill Itachi…_

Naruto raised his eyes when his friend didn't say anything. "Sasuke," the kyuubi container began with a small gasp of surprise, "you're smiling!"

The Uchiha wore a stupid grin plastered onto his face, a genuine, happy smile. He knew he was smiling, but he couldn't stop himself. He found he didn't want to stop. It felt…good…

"Yeah, I smiled, but it's already past 12:00. I win." Sasuke's grin quickly switched to a smirk, but it still held traces of the happy smile he wore moments before.

"That's what you think," Naruto said with a grin of his own. "However, it's really 11:58."

"No, it's 12:09," the Uchiha objected, pointing up the hill at the towering clock tower.

"Nope, it isn't! I set back all the clocks in Konoha 10 minutes," Naruto revealed, tapping the digital watch on his wrist that he apparently had, which read 11:59 now.

Naruto expected Sasuke to be angry or embarrassed that he had been fooled, but instead the avenger looked disappointed.

"So…everything you said was fake, to get me to smile so you could win...you didn't mean any of it…" Sasuke whispered, pulling himself to his feet and making his way slowly off the dock.

"No, wait!" Naruto pleaded, leaping to his feet and bounding after his friend. Sasuke stopped, but did not turn around. "I didn't lie about any of it Sasuke…it's all true."

The raven haired boy turned around slowly, scanning those sky blue eyes, searching for any hint of a fib. He couldn't find any.

"You know, you're strong too…" Sasuke started, lowering his eyes. "You're strong enough to become the Hokage…I know you are..."

Extreme happiness...it streamed through Naruto like a river. _'You're strong enough to become the Hokage…I know you are…' _The guy he always admired, the boy he always tried to upstage and be as good as, believed in him, believed he was strong enough to accomplish his dream. If Naruto made a list of the happiest moments in his life, then this would be at the top.

"What's with the stupid grin, dobe?" Sasuke asked, attempting to cover up the sentimental moment. "You may be strong, but you're not as strong as me."

"Heh, how can you say that when I'm the one who won the bet?" Naruto countered. "Now that I think about it, we agreed that I could make fun of you if I won! I, Naruto Uzumaki, supposed dead last, managed to make Uchiha Sasuke, # 1 rookie of the year, smile! I so totally kicked your ass!"

Sasuke was about to think of a clever come back when a manly yell interrupted him.

"TENTEN! GIVE ME THAT CAMERA BACK NOW!"

"No way!"

"YES WAY!" (3)

"I forgot about them…" the two shinobi stated at the same time.

"Gahh get away!" Tenten, who was currently running from Neji, screamed as she ran towards Naruto and Sasuke.

"You're not getting away until you give me that camera!" Neji leaped towards Tenten, leg outstretched. Unfortunately for Sasuke, Tenten ran behind him and a split-second later the Hyuuga's foot was lodged in his face.

Sasuke toppled backwards, crash landing on Naruto who fell backwards onto Tenten. The three shinobi landed in a tangled heap on the ground, each of them groaning in pain.

"Oops, sorry Uchiha," Neji apologized, sparing Sasuke a glance, although he could really care less if he hurt the Uchiha or not. "Now for you…" The Hyuuga kneeled and pried the video camera out of the young girl's hands.

"Nooo, that's my blackmail!" Tenten yelled, throwing Naruto and Sasuke off her none too gently as she sprinted after her male teammate.

"Not anymore! No one's seeing this; its destiny is to not be seen!"

"I don't give a crap about destiny Neji! Give my video camera back!"

The two loud ninja took off, and Naruto and Sasuke untangled themselves.

"Well, that was fun," Naruto commented as Sasuke stood up and dusted himself off, then offered a hand to the blonde.

"Hn," Sasuke responded, pulling Naruto to his feet.

"You know what, since I got you to smile, maybe I should try to make you laugh next time!" The blonde suggested with a grin. "Ouch!"

The kyuubi container cried out in pain as a fist collided with his skull, a fist which was connected to a body that held a smiling face, not a frowning one.

"Don't push your luck, dobe."

xXx

Don't ask me how Kakashi knows what happened between Naruto and Sasuke years ago, he's just awesome like that.

I personally don't think that Sasuke is better than Naruto. I think that they're both better than each other in some ways, and in other ways they're evenly matched.

I discovered that Yes Way is a street. That's hilarious, who would be stupid enough to name a street Yes Way lol? (no offense if anyone lives on that street)

_Special Thanks to all of you who reviewed, favorited this story, added it to your alert list, or even just read it. I am very grateful to all of you! :D_

_Also, a separate special thanks to GintaxAlvissForever, YoshimiKurosaki, and Anonymous123. GintaxAlvissForever thought of the idea to have Neji and Tenten come running and Neji accidentally kicks Sasuke in the face and gets the camera back, YoshimiKurosaki had the idea to have Naruto set the clocks back, and Anonymous123 gave me the idea to have Naruto admit that Sasuke was better than him. Thanks to all of you!_

A/N: Wow, I never thought this story would go so far. To tell you the truth, in the beginning, it was only going to be one chapter! However, your generous reviews made it run this long, so thank you, all of you! Thank you for sticking with it til the very end. However, it's not the end yet! There are going to be three alternate endings, courtesy of a few of my reviewers, so make sure to check them out when I get them out! Thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed the ending of Mission: Make Sasuke Smile! ^_^


	15. Chapter 15 Alternate Endings

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get these alternate endings out! I've actually had them written down in my notebook for awhile now, but I've been occupied with other things. I'm taking an online Japanese course as a school credit, and I have to finish it before school starts again so that I can take Japanese 2. Wish me luck!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Mission: Make Sasuke Smile Alternate Endings

_This alternate ending was donated to me by saiax777._

Naruto hesitantly approached the dark haired, dark eyed boy who was perched on the bridge overlooking Konoha's only lake. The brooding boy looked ticked and Naruto began to have second thoughts on what he was about to do.

No, it was almost midnight; he had to do this. Swallowing his doubt, the blonde stood a few feet behind the Uchiha, who turned around to fiercely glare at him.

"What do you want?" Sasuke spat.

Naruto gulped. "Sasuke, I've tried everything. I just can't make you smile. I guess you're better than me," Naruto admitted, lowering his eyes to the ground in defeat.

A smirk spread on the Uchiha's face which soon developed into a wide, triumphant smile. "See, you can never beat me, dobe."

Snap! Flash!

A click of a camera and a flash of light later, and Uchiha Sasuke stood dumbfounded, staring stupidly at the grinning photographer.

"This is going on the front page and the morning news! I can see it now!" The photographer swooshed his arms dramatically. "The headline will be: "Shunned Boy Becomes Hero: Makes Local Emo Boy Uchiha Sasuke Smile!"

Sasuke, snapping out of his stupor, drank in everything the cameraman said. _Awww shit!'_

"Damn you, Naruto!"

xXx

_This alternate ending was donated to me by LostForever06._

"Oi, Sasuke," Naruto started, flinching under the Uchiha's death glare.

"What?" he snapped. "You have five seconds before I kill you."

"Jeez, are you really that angry?" the Uzumaki questioned, receiving his answer when Sasuke started counting down with his fingers. "Alright, alright; I'm sorry!"

Sasuke stopped counting, giving Naruto a puzzled look. "What?"

"I'm sorry, man, for everything I put you through. I took the bet a little too seriously," Naruto mumbled, refusing to look at his friend.

"…it's ok," the Uchiha replied just as quietly, still slightly shocked.

"No, it's not ok. I'm going to make it up to you!" the blonde said in determination. "I'll get you anything you want, take you anywhere you want to go, for a day!"

"Umm, no thanks-"

"Yes, I want to!" Naruto insisted.

Before Sasuke could protest again the blonde shinobi whipped out an Itachi voodoo doll and a case of needles and thrust them into the pale boy's arms.

"How long did you have those behind your back?" Sasuke questioned suspiciously. "And where'd you get this voodoo doll?"

"I made it," Naruto replied simply as he ignored the first question, sheepishly showing Sasuke the multiple prick wounds on his fingers. "I went to the voodoo shop in that ghetto dark alley first, but they were out of Itachis. The only ones in stock were Orochimaru, Kabuto, Ino, and you."

Sasuke looked almost hurt when he heard that there were voodoo dolls of him. _Almost._

Sasuke started to give the doll back but stopped and observed it once more. _Hmm…this could come in handy during my emo avenger moments…_Making his decision, he sneakily pocketed the Itachi voodoo doll when Naruto wasn't looking.

"Really, I don't want anything," the avenger assured. "I don't have much interest in material possessions."

"Are you sure?" Naruto demanded, once again stuffing a couple items into his friend's arms.

"…I'm not a girl, Naruto," Sasuke reminded the hyperactive ninja, glaring at the teddy bear and box of chocolates that he was holding. "And it's not Valentine's Day," he added.

"Then how about ice cream? Everyone loves ice cream!" Naruto exclaimed, causing Sasuke to be disgusted and curious as the blonde pulled two dripping ice cream cones out of his back pockets.

"How did you get those in there without them melting and staining your pants?" Sasuke questioned, twitching in annoyance as the irritating boy dumped both the ice cream cones into his hands. "I already told you, I don't want any of this!"

Naruto simply stood there, grinning in a creepy way. Sasuke was starting to freak out; the blonde was beginning to foam at the mouth.

"Eh…I have people to see, places to go, things to do…" Sasuke quickly lied, chucking his load at the jinchuuriki's face and bolting.

"Wait, come back! I still have more presents for you!" Naruto laughed insanely, the splattered ice cream on his face mixed with the foam from his mouth making it look like he escaped from an asylum.

"No, stay away from me!" Sasuke warned, running like his life depended on it.

"I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!" the crazy blonde yelled as he began to catch up with Sasuke.

"I told you to-" Sasuke started until a conveniently placed building that was blocking his path made him stop.

"Ha, caught you!" Naruto cheered crazily, leaping at his friend and glomping him.

"Ah, you moron!" Sasuke gasped in surprise as the two crashed to the ground. "Get off me!"

"You shouldn't have run from me," Naruto scolded, refusing to get off the poor Uchiha.

"What's that building?" Sasuke suddenly questioned curiously, seeing an opening as Naruto paused to look up. He took the chance to shove the blonde off.

Naruto pouted but his smile returned as Sasuke offered him a hand. "It's fairly new," the boy answered as he was pulled to his feet. "You go into one of the rooms and they put you into little capsule things and attach some suction cups to you, and they have a program that lets you see whatever you want, and it makes you feel like it's really happening (1). I went in there once and it showed me eating a lifetime supply of ramen. It was delicious even though it wasn't real!"

"It shows you anything you want?" Sasuke asked. His interest was peaked.

"Yeah…oh!" Naruto's eyes widened in realization. "Will you let me treat you to this?"

"Sure, just don't buy me any more presents," Sasuke replied with a smirk.

M.M.S.S.

Uchiha Sasuke laughed insanely as he thrust chidori after chidori into his hated brother.

"Chidori # 24!" he counted excitedly as the already dead Itachi was mutilated once again.

Naruto watched in slight amusement but also fear from outside the room. He was glad that Sasuke was having fun (and also smiling. Ha!) but it was starting to creep him out. Sasuke was beginning to foam at the mouth…

The blonde shinobi decided to smartly leave before Sasuke was done and wanted another round. Hey, this place was expensive!

(1) That is actually a real thing in a movie called Minority Report. It's a really good movie with Tom Cruise. If you love action, then that's the movie for you. :P

xXx

_This alternate ending was donated to me by XDsasuke'sgirlXD._

"Guys, I have a brilliant idea! This is my last one; it has to succeed!" Naruto told his teachers firmly.

"What is it already?" Jiraiya asked impatiently.

"What if I transform into Sasuke's parents?" Naruto suggested excitedly.

The two older men exchanged wary glances.

"Naruto, Sasuke's parents are dead, you know that," Kakashi said slowly, fearing for the boy's mental state.

"Besides, you attempt to pull that trick, and Konoha will have another funeral to prepare for," Jiraiya said flatly.

"No, you guys don't get it! As his parents, I'll tell him that they were in a special wing of the hospital for all those years," Naruto explained.

"Whether that works or not, the sight of his parents will sting him deeply," Kakashi warned. "All you're going to end up doing is hurting him."

"You guys are party poopers," Naruto scolded with a frown. "Trust me; I know what I'm doing!"

The silver haired Jounin watched sadly as his pupil let to find the Uchiha.

"Even I feel sorry for the brat now," the Sannin muttered with a hint of remorse.

"I hope that Naruto changes his mind," Kakashi said with a sigh. "I don't think that Sasuke will be pissed off so much as he'll feel betrayed."

_Please, Naruto…understand that Sasuke doesn't think the same way you do. Don't hurt him more than he's already been hurt!_

M.M.S.S.

Sasuke ignored the persistent knocking at his door. He was in no mood to talk to anyone. He feared if he opened the door then he would incinerate whoever stood there, and he really didn't want to deal with Tsunade getting on him about killing innocent people.

Unless it was Naruto. Then he might be able to get away with it.

Eagerly leaping to his feet, the Uchiha hurried to his front door with newfound enthusiasm. If that was Naruto on his porch…the boy smirked sadistically.

"Naruto, I'll give you five seconds before…" the thread died on his lips as the pale boy gawked in utter shock and disbelief at the two painfully familiar faces.

"Hello, son." The gentle expression of his mother smiling made Sasuke's heart stop.

"You've grown a lot while we were gone," his father recognized with a nod.

"What the hell is going on?" Sasuke demanded, taking a step back. "Itachi killed you! I saw it!"

His mother sadly shook her head. "Itachi didn't kill us, Sasuke-chan. He merely injured us quite badly and it sent us into comas."

"I guess he wasn't too far gone. I'm assuming that he couldn't bring up enough hatred to kill his own parents," Sasuke's father spoke bitterly.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Sasuke insisted, shaking his head wildly.

"Is it that unbelievable? He left you alive also, didn't he?" Fugaku pointed out.

"But why have I just seen you now? It's been six years since Itachi killed the clan!"

Mikoto stretched her hand out to soothe her son but Sasuke flinched away. She withdrew her hand, her dark eyes filled with hurt.

"We told you we were injured-"

"Bullshit!" Sasuke screamed, interrupting his father. "You guys were dead! I saw it! Itachi _forced_ me to see it!"

"Aha; he showed you with his Mangekyou, didn't he?" At Sasuke's silence, Fugaku continued. "Then isn't it possible that he could've showed you a lie? Make it seem like we died when really we were only injured?"

The young Uchiha looked down, avoiding his parents' eyes. He wanted to believe it but at the same time didn't believe it. It seemed too good to be true.

"We were severely injured both physically and mentally by his Mangekyou(1). Konoha's hospital didn't know how to treat it, so we were transferred to a special hospital in the Country of Wind to recuperate. We stayed in a coma for many years, but when we woke up from it, they sent us back to a special wing in Konoha's hospital to finish healing. We were just recently released," Mikoto explained gently.

"You were never told about it because if you knew then you'd want to come after us. The Third thought you were safer in Konoha and he didn't want you to worry," his father added.

Sasuke fell to his knees slowly, clutching his head. He didn't have a reason not to believe them. Their story made perfect sense. _They look the same, smell the same, act the same…it's too much to take in._

"…Okaasan, Otousan…it really is you two, isn't it?" the raven haired teen whispered, raising his head, the happiest smile in the world plastered on his face.

The two smiled lovingly. "We're proud of you, son," his father praised.

Sasuke's smile widened even more, if that was possible. He slowly closed his eyes. _Kami-sama…I've never been too religious and I never really believed in you, but I regret that. Thank you… (2) _However, the boy's happiness faded as he opened his eyes.

His parents were nowhere to be found.

Confused and upset, the Uchiha hurried in the direction they had been standing previously. After he made it past the houses and into the shallow area of the forest, he found them.

At least that's what he wished his eyes would show him.

"Ero-sennin, Kaka-sensei!" Sasuke's "parents" cheerfully greeted the two older men. "I did it! Sasuke finally smiled! He looked so happy!"

Jiraiya frowned and Kakashi looked on sadly as the energetic blonde transformed back into his normal self and his clone poofed away.

"Eh? What's with the long faces, guys?" Naruto questioned curiously.

"Look behind you," his sensei answered softly.

Obeying Kakashi's instructions, the jinchuuriki spun around only to come face to face with a _very_ furious Uchiha. Sasuke took a hold of Naruto's collar and thrust him up against the nearest tree roughly.

"S-Sasuke!" Naruto stuttered in surprise.

"You bastard! I should kill you!" the Uchiha hissed, tightening his grip. "How could you? Why would you do that to me? I thought…I thought you were…my friend…" Sasuke whispered, his grip loosening slightly.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered back with widened eyes. The bright blue sky collided with the darkest depths and the two boys locked gazes. Anger, pain, sadness, confusion, frustration, hurt, and most of all betrayal (so basically a smorgasbord of feelings) were the emotions Naruto saw in his friend's eyes, shining clearly for anyone to see. However, the blonde was surprised to see that anger seemed to be the smallest portion in the pie graph of emotions which were Sasuke's eyes.

"I never thought you would go that far just to win a stupid bet! Do you know how much…do you realize how deeply..." the avenger's voice was cracking. "I could kill you!" he threatened again, pulling his fist back.

Naruto's eyes immediately flew shut as his natural reaction. Kakashi and Jiraiya watched sadly, refusing to do anything at the moment, knowing that Naruto brought it upon himself. He needed to learn from his mistakes.

But the blow never came.

Sasuke's fist was shaking, as if he was urging it to swing forward but it didn't want to cooperate. Realizing he couldn't do it, wouldn't do it, the Uchiha allowed his arm to drop lifelessly to his side. His other arm slowly released Naruto, letting him drop to the ground.

"I hate you," he whispered to the blonde before bolting, running as fast as he could in the direction he came. If he had stayed only a moment longer and taken a look at Naruto's face, he would've seen that with those three words, those three real, stinging, resonating words, he hurt the blonde more deeply than any transformation jutsu ever could.

M.M.S.S.

Jiraiya and Kakashi found the upset Uchiha outside the Academy, frozen still on a very familiar swing. It was the two men's job to cheer the Uchiha up (if it was even possible for Sasuke to be cheerful) as they had done for Naruto earlier…

"_Stupid brat," the Sannin mumbled sadly. "He goes and gets upset by what Naruto did to him, then he turns around and hurts Naruto as much as he hurt him…"_

_Neither Kakashi nor Jiraiya had the heart to tell Naruto that the boy wasn't concealing his tears as well as he thought he was. Kakashi placed a comforting arm around his student's shoulders while Jiraiya glared in the direction that the raven haired boy left._

"_They're both stupid brats," he muttered, but not exactly angrily. "One unintentionally hurts the other, then the other intentionally stings the one. I'll never understand them," he finished, shaking his head._

_After many soothing and comforting words to Naruto, Kakashi promised to go calm Sasuke down and talk to him while Naruto pulled himself together._

_The blonde agreed and began to mop up his tears as Kakashi ruffled his hair and he left with Jiraiya_

Sasuke knew they were there but he didn't turn around to acknowledge them.

Kakashi chose to be frank. He wasn't going to baby Sasuke. "That was very childish of you, Sasuke," he scolded. The boy stiffened but still said nothing. "I know that what Naruto did to you stung you deeply; neither Jiraiya nor I approved of it."

"Then why didn't you stop him?" Sasuke growled.

"Naruto has to learn from his mistakes," Kakashi replied in a tone that ordered for no interruptions. "There was no way that he could've known how it would affect you. Naruto has never known his parents, therefore he wouldn't know why you reacted the way you did.

"You reacted very childishly to what he did. You intentionally hurt Naruto when he unintentionally hurt you. That doesn't sound very fair to me. You stung him a lot more than he did to you," Kakashi finished sternly.

"Do you know why?" Jiraiya asked the pale boy, who merely shook his head. "Naruto admires you, a lot. No, not just admiration; you're his _role model_." Sasuke actually look up at that, his eyes wide with surprise and curiosity.

"Naruto wants to be just like you, Sasuke. He wants recognition from you. That's why he went that far to win your bet. He wants you to see that he's strong, too."

The raven haired boy mulled Kakashi's and Jiraiya's words over in his head. _Naruto admires me? I'm his role model? I never knew…I never thought…_ All feelings of anger and betrayal vanished as Sasuke processed this new information.

"…Sasuke?" a sad, timid voice called out.

The Uchiha's head snapped around and Kakashi and Jiraiya poofed away, realizing that their job was done. Naruto stared at his friend warily, not sure how upset he still was.

Sasuke wanted to be angry at Naruto, he really did. He wanted to break out into a furious rage and let the beast within him handle things.

But he couldn't. One look into those sky blue eyes, filled with confusion, hurt, and regret, and his flame was completely diminished.

"Sasuke," the blonde started hesitantly, now in front of the Uchiha. "I need to talk to you…"

Refusing to look his teammate in the eye, Sasuke scooted over on the swing to make more room. He almost smiled when a gleam of happiness re-entered Naruto's eyes, happy that he was receiving the rare chance to sit near his friend since Sasuke hated being touched. But _almost_ was the key word.

The jinchuuriki squished onto the swing beside the very tense and uncomfortable avenger. He didn't know how to begin, so as usual, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"I honestly didn't know!" Realizing this made no sense; the boy blushed and explained in more detail. "I mean, I thought you would like it but you're so hard to read that I wasn't sure and I kind of winged it and argh! This isn't going the way I wanted!"

Sasuke sighed at his frustrated teammate. "It's ok," he said softly. "I understand what you're trying to say."

"Yeah…it's just…" Naruto awkwardly attempted again. "I've never known my parents, so I don't understand what it's like to lose them. If I had the chance then I would want to see my parents, but I guess it's different with your situation…so I really didn't mean to hurt you! I would never do that…I'm sorry," he finished, his eyes downcast.

"…what I said earlier, I didn't mean it. I don't hate you, you know that, right?" Sasuke mumbled sincerely.

A wide smile spread on the blonde's face. "…Yeah, I know."

"By the way," the dark eyed boy began. "How'd you know how to act like my parents? You imitated them perfectly…"

Naruto flinched slightly at Sasuke's whispered words. Just when he thought they were past all the sentimental sore spots!

"Well…if I had parents, then I know I would want them to be like that. It was just a coincidence that it matched up perfectly with your parents," he spoke softly.

"…What about that line my father used?" Sasuke questioned.

He didn't need to explain the specifics. Naruto knew which line he was talking about. "If I had a father, then I would want him to say that to me. Merely a coincidence again," Naruto said, but he thought differently.

The two now realized that they were more alike than they thought.

Not that the tension and awkwardness of the situation was practically diminished, a thought struck Sasuke. "Naruto…how did you know what my parents looked like?" he asked suspiciously. "Don't tell me that was "coincidence" too."

"Ehehe…" the blonde nervously scratched the back of his head. "Well I couldn't ask you or you'd be suspicious so I kind of had to improvise…" Naruto fished though his back pocket and timidly handed his friend a small picture frame.

Sasuke's eye twitched as he started at his family portrait. "I can't believe that you would sink that low as to steal from me…"

"Borrow," Naruto corrected, but cowered under Sasuke's glare. "Eh…you were a cute kid?"

"Don't try to make up for it!" Naruto flinched as Sasuke's fist flew towards him. However, his fear was unneeded.

The Uchiha's palm fell gently onto the messy blonde locks, ruffling them affectionately. A true smile was located on the pale boy's face, and it wasn't provoked though transformation jutsus this time.

"You're such a moron," he said softly.

"Well, you're such a bastard," Naruto returned with a grin, slinging his arm around his friend's shoulders.

From not too far away a silver haired man and a white, spiky haired old man watched, grinning at the unbreakable friendship, hoping it stayed that way.

xXx

I'm just going to pretend that Naruto knows all about the Mangekyou Sharingan

I know that that part was totally un-Sasuke like and completely OOC. Just work with me though…

A/N: Well, that completely sums up this story! Thanks to all who offered ideas for alternate endings, I greatly appreciate it! ^_^ Hope you all liked them!


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